Better Living Through Chemistry Page #4

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Come on, now. Come on.

Adultery?

Oh, please. Save the

preaching for church.

You'd change your tune, too, after being

balls-deep in a woman like Elizabeth.

My skull is exploding!

- Coming!

- Yes!

- I'm gonna come! I'm gonna come!

- Yes!

- I'm gonna come!

- Yes! Oh!

I'm gonna...

So,

what happens now?

I'm not really sure. This isn't

something I normally engage in.

Yeah, right.

I think maybe you go inside to your

wife and I go home to my husband.

Of course. Yeah.

See you around.

Okay. Good night.

Good night.

It has been a good night.

Ahh!

- Yeah! What is it?

- Hurry up, Doug!

F*** off.

Mr and Mrs Varney,

we're all here to try to help work

things through the best way possible.

Maybe you can tell us what this is...

What this is about, huh?

It was brought to my attention yesterday

while he should have been in Life Science,

Ethan was discovered by one

of the faculty members

in the boys' locker room, vandalising

one of the lockers with...

Excrement.

And this isn't the first time.

- Substantial pieces of...

- Poop.

had been turning up around the

school for the past two months.

There was no way of connecting Ethan

to the other leavings, but...

Excuse me.

Are you trying to suggest that my

son is some sort of Una-shitter?

Like I said, there's no

way to be 100% sure.

He has never had any

problems before.

No, he hasn't and...

That's right, so maybe you

need to look elsewhere.

- Mmm-hmm?

- Okay.

Like that David Chen kid.

You know, the one who brought the

fireworks on the class trip to Six Flags.

It seems likely the kid who's

toting explosives on a field trip

would also take a dump in a locker.

- Mrs Varney.

- I'm gonna be sick.

This is nothing more than a little

boy crying out for attention.

And who are you again?

- Dr Roth.

- Okay.

School psychiatrist.

And your degree came from which

of our fine online universities?

Honey, they're just...

No, these are serious accusations

being made by complete strangers

with very little evidence.

Unless, of course, there's been a

major breakthrough in crime forensics

and you've dusted the

sh*t for prints, Dr Roth.

No.

If it's okay with you, I'd like to

start seeing Ethan twice a week,

- get a better idea of who he is...

- I think that's a good idea.

and what's going on.

- Just to head off any...

- Honey.

trouble at the pass.

Um...

Do the thing for us.

- No, no, no, no, no.

- Go on, go on. It's great.

- It's none of our business.

- Yeah, yeah. No, it's great.

Dr Friedman,

Mitchell, as top cardiologist

here at County General,

I'm surprised that you can't diagnose

true heartache when you see it.

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