Believe Me Page #3

---

here, and you're talking to Africa?

No. No. We're not

going to Africa.

But you want to dig Wells.

Well, it's this big thing right now.

It's about clean water.

We're not actually gonna be digging any.

You're dipping again, huh?

Yeah, I'm trying to quit smoking.

That a boy.

It's a healthy choice. Guys, why

do people go to charity events?

'Cause they want to help people.

Wrong. Because

they want to feel like

they're helping people,

and that feeling

comes with a price.

The sadder the cause,

the higher the price.

And what's sadder than kids in

Africa without clean water.

So I've been

doing my research.

It seems that now,

saving Africa

is as popular with christians

as Jesus Christ himself.

So if we can challenge christians to

prove their faith through giving,

they're gonna give whatever they

have to to not feel guilty.

Basically, we're

going to... steal.

Yeah. You want to steal

from christians.

Yeah?

Pierce clovins. Long-time

listener, first-time caller.

Uh, presentation looks great.

It's really cute.

The idea is awful.

It's just terrible.

But I appreciate the brewskis

and I appreciate the bro-skis.

I got things to do... Pierce, you'd

be doing me a real solid here.

I don't think so. You'd

be helping me out.

Sorry, buddy. There might

be money in it for you.

Would you all just

listen to Sam? Really!

Sam, please continue.

Thank you.

Very well-thought-out idea.

Thank you. Guys,

look, all I'm asking you to do

is help me put on one event.

Sam, I think Pierce

was trying to say

was that there has to be something

else... there isn't, dude!

I can't get a tuition

loan fast enough,

I can't get an emergency

loan big enough.

All the scholarships

are way past due.

And I'd be lucky to get

two grand for my car.

A lot of people take a year off to

pay for college. It's no big deal.

What do you know about paying

for college? Hey, hey.

I'm sorry my parents love

me, decided not to be poor.

Guys, everyone that

takes a year off

either moves home

or they lose momentum.

I'm not gonna

be that guy.

I'm going

to law school.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

You know what? Screw it. Yes!

I don't really get it.

Well...

But, guys, how many more

chances are we gonna get

to steal from people under

false pretenses as a family?

That's not really...

Huh? College, no parents.

I'm in.

And I know

Tyler's in.

No, I'm not in.

Tyler?

I couldn't live with myself

if we weren't giving

most of the money to charity.

Okay.

You know that I don't do public speaking.

That's fine.

We can give 20%

to a real charity.

Plus, we need someone on sound.

Perfect. Pierce.

Sam! I do not care about charities.

Not one bit.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes