Being Charlie Page #4

for the money?

No. No.

I think you do this

for the courtside seats

to human suffering.

Can't watch you do that anymore.

Hey, thanks.

I liked your...

your "cuckoo's nest" bit.

Yeah?

Been in and out of these places

for 20 years,

and all I got to show for it's

a bag of newcomer chips

and an okay

Nicholson impersonation.

Excuse me.

I don't mean to pry,

but are you David mills' son?

See? I told you!

I-I'm a huge fan.

I f***ing love

that pirate sh*t, man!

Oh, man.

Did... did he do

his own fencing?

Charlie!

Need you in the office.

I'll be right there!

Now, kiddo!

Yeah.

Keep your head down, brother.

You know why you're here?

Let me take a crack at it.

You're gonna say

that I'm being difficult

and that is hindering

not only my own recovery,

but the recovery

of those around me.

Thank you, sir, for...

Taking time out

of your very busy day.

Hello?

Charlie?

Dad.

What do you think you're doing?

Don't know what you're

talking about, dad.

Not one day goes by,

and already

they want to throw you out.

Sounds good.

Go ahead. Be glib.

You think just 'cause you're 18,

everything will

magically slide off you?

It doesn't work that way,

Charlie.

Oh, tell me, dad,

how does it work?

Want to be your own man,

make your own choices,

you live with the consequences.

I got a call about that stunt

you pulled up in Utah.

Yeah. They wanted

to press charges.

But I pulled some strings

with a friend

who knows the judge,

and they said if you cooperate,

they'll let it go.

But, hey, you're 18.

You do whatever you want.

Just know if you don't comply,

you won't have to answer to me.

You'll be facing

possible jail time in Utah.

It's your choice.

Fine.

You know what?

I'll do the 30 days.

And you can't just go through

the motions this time, Charlie.

You have to complete the program

to their satisfaction.

That could be

longer than 30 days.

Like how long, dad?

Say...

Till after the election?

And if you leave

or get expelled,

there will be a warrant out

for your arrest.

I have to go now.

You think he'll stay?

He has no choice.

Hey.

Hey.

You making a break for it?

What makes you say that?

Where are you headed?

Anywhere but here.

Really?

So, what, you'd be okay

with, like, Iraq,

Darfur,

New Jersey?

Maybe not Jersey.

What are you doing out here?

I'm on night watch.

You're one of the staff?

Why were you in group

with everybody else?

Well, I was just there

as an observer.

I mean, I introduced myself,

but I guess you were out of it.

I'm gonna have

to report this, you know.

Okay.

That wasn't funny.

It was a little funny.

Yeah, you're the next

moms mabley.

Who's that?

Oh, she's an old black comedian.

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