Beethoven

Slow down, slow down. Move it back up.

-Here we go.|-They`re drivin` me crazy!

-Don`t go too fast.|-Come on!

-What`s the matter?|-You threw the cage on my foot!

-l didn`t do that.|-Yes, you did.

l need puppies.

-Okay. All right. Come on.|-Puppies.

Hi there. lsn`t that the sweetest?

-He`s cool.|-l think he likes us.

What a cute guy.

lsn`t he cute?

Hi, puppy.

No, absolutely not.

How big`s he gonna be?

St. Bernards get to be about 150 pounds.

l got a junkyard.|l need a big, mean junkyard dog.

Let me see him.

Come here, puppy.

He looks good and mean.

l don`t know. He`s pretty sweet.

You can make any dog mean.

Damn little beast! God!

You got any pit bulls?

Come on. lt`s a pushover.

l cased the place.

What about the cops?|What about video surveillance?

You`re crazy if you`re gonna walk up|just like this.

What about the alarm?

All you gotta do is step over.

-l got you.|-Okay, okay.

There, you see?|ln and out, quiet as a mouse.

Let`s get some dogs.

Come on, puppy.|We`re just goin` for a little car ride.

Look at the wee, little ones.|Come here, little puppies.

Here we go.

Come on, puppy. Here puppy, nice puppy.

l`ve stepped in the beam.

Here, puppy, nice puppy.

See, didn`t l tell ya?

Doesn`t this beat|takin` strays off the street?

-You are a genius!|-Get off!

Sorry! l`m sorry.

l`m just a little bit excited.|That`s my very first felony.

l`ve committed a lot of misdemeanors,|but that was my first felony.

Why are they barking?

They`re dogs.

l know they`re dogs!|Go in the back and check.

Okay, doggies, what`s the racket back--

Okay, doggies, back in your house.

Back in your house.|Here, doggie, nice doggie.

No, doggie. Don`t jump.

Bad dog!

Good puppy!

Bad puppy, don`t jump!

Good puppy, don`t jump!

Come back! Stop the van!

Harv, what is it?|Why did you want me to stop?

Hurry, they`re gettin` away.

Hey, you, come back here!

Come here! l`ll give you a bone!

Come back here, you little runt!

Come here, you!

Ted, l`m sorry.

What`s wrong?|Did you have another nightmare?

Yeah.

Mom, it`s Saturday and it`s 7:02.|Do we really have to get up?

Yep, you heard your father.

l know, Daddy`s rules.

That`s it! l`m not gonna take it anymore.

Mom, l have a news flash for you.|lt`s Saturday!

-Yeah, l know, honey.|-This sucks!

Why do we have to get up|so early on Saturday?

Ask your father. Don`t say `"sucks.`"

The bathroom`s mine!

-Nanny, nanny!|-Shut up! Let me in.

Open up, you little wimp! Let me in!

-Mom! Let me in!|-You have no bladder control.

Wait till l get my hands on you. Let me in!

A puppy!

Hi!

Guys, do you have to--

l dreamt l had a puppy, and it came true!

Honey.

l take back everything l said|about you being cold and insensitive.

Dad, l take back|anything l ever said about you, too.

Dad, l have everything l ever wanted.

-l owe you big time.|-Why?

Daddy, can we call him Fred?

-Let me have him. lt`s my turn.|-No, it`s my turn!

-l saw him first!|-l`m gonna have him for five more minutes.

We can`t have a dog. We can`t have a dog!

You can`t show a child a puppy,|then take it away two minutes later.

l didn`t show a child a puppy.|lt`s obviously lost.

-Occupy the kids. l`ll run to the pound.|-No, no way!

-lt`ll be destroyed.|-lf we keep it, the house will be destroyed!

-lt`s a dog. Millions of people have dogs.|-Not people like me.

Dogs sniff. They lick, they chew.|They drool, they scratch--

-Alice, they have parasites.|-Oh, God, yeah.

The kids`ll lose interest.|l`ll have to care for it.

lt`ll grow to be enormous.|lt`ll take over the yard.

The lawn`ll look terrible.

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