Bedtime Stories Page #4

You could fit into one spot.

I had to park

all the way down the block.

Well, next time park in that box.

Plenty of room in there.

Anyway, here's the situation.

This is not really my truck,

this is the hotel I work for's truck.

So if I get a scratch on it,

they take it out of my salary.

So two parking spaces

provides me with what I call

"a cushion of protection."

Wait, a hotel? Oh, wait.

You're Wendy's brother.

- Yeah.

- I'm Jill.

- Who's that?

- I'm her friend,

the one helping take care of the kids.

I'm the day shift.

OK, June. You plan on being

this hostile the whole time?

Jill. My name is Jill.

Do you plan on keeping that

haircut the rest of the time?

Oh, haven't you heard?

Goofy's the new handsome.

[Engine splutters]

- That sounds good for the environment.

- Oh, we can't all have Priuses.

How do you know I drive a Prius?

Your whole aura reads Prius.

[Bubbling sounds]

Anyways, you're in my

cushion of protection right now.

I want to back up, so if you

could just zing-zang up there,

- that would be helpful.

- Yeah.

You might want some Cinnabons.

You'll need it.

- Food!

- [Kids shouting]

Give it back!

Somebody owes me six bucks!

So why didn't you demand that he make

you the big boss of the new hotel?

He promised your dad.

I wanted to.

It just wasn't the right time.

Let me tell you how it works.

The big man's giving the job

to Kendall

because he's dating his daughter.

That's the way it works,

keep it in the family.

He gets the girl, he gets the job,

he gets everything.

And I get nothing.

[Cell phone ringing]

[Ringtone screeches]

- Hello?

- [Jill] Where are you? Still there?

I'm still where?

Who's this?

Look, I've got to get to class.

The kids are waiting for you, OK?

Oh! Oh, yeah, yeah,

I'm sorry.

[Stammers] I forgot.

I'll be there in like 20 minutes.

[Phone beeps off]

I'm gonna baby-sit

my nephew and niece tonight.

Oh, God.

Got any advice for me?

Yes, I do. Sometimes I baby-sit

my cousins, right?

And what I do is

I let them style me hair.

Like put beads into it and braid it,

make me look all real sexy.

Like Milli Vanilli, stuff like that.

You should try that.

Braid my hair? That's a good idea.

Can I have some French fries?

Of course you can.

You're my best friend.

[Gasps]

Ah! Actually, I really like

ketchup on my face

because it's

rejuvenating for the skin.

So who's the real victim?

You are.

Mmm! Delicious.

Do you think these signs will help?

Well, miracles happen,

you know?

You mean like Dad coming back?

Um...

- [door closes]

- [Skeeter singing]

[Laughing] Hey!

Sorry I'm late.

So, um, their pajamas

are on their beds,

and I will be back, um,

at 8:
30 to pick them up, OK?

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