Bedrooms and Hallways

1

This programme contains strong language

My flatmate says everything changes when you turn 30.

The illusions of youth are replaced by rock solid realities.

Anyway, I'm playing it very cool this birthday -

a couple of beers, Chinese takeaway, watching telly.

My friends are good about it.

They know the last thing I want on my plate is a big splashy glittery hoo-ha.

Th-they are clear about that.

ALL:
Surprise!

- Leo! Leo, where do you think you're going?

- Out.

Get back in here. Go on!

The boy's come back. Yahoo!

Happy birthday. I wanted to show you where you are now on the medicine wheel.

Out of the house of the hunter, which is a very solitary house

- and into the house of the warrior.

- Great. I'm just going to the loo.

Look what I've made. Taste it. Happy birthday, Leo.

- Nice?

- It's lovely, yeah.

- Hey, Leo. Happy birthday.

- Hi, thanks.

I've always wanted a surprise party but somehow it's never happened.

It's probably because I'm waiting for it.

I'm just going to the loo, OK?

Mm! Guess who it isn't.

- Ummm. Baby Spice?

- Correct. Here, open it now. I can't wait.

- I'll take that.

- Oh, thanks.

- Oh!

- I paid for it. It may look like I didn't but I did.

- That's great. It's your book!

- It's too heavy, isn't it?

- Throw it away. I don't mind.

- I'll put it with the other pressies.

- You'll enjoy it. I learned a lot.

- Great.

- Ange? Where's Darren?

- I'm not going to tell you if you're going to give him a bad time.

- I was just going to thank him.

- You're such a terrible liar.

Relax and have a good time.

I bought you a present. You'll love it.

See you in a minute.

Hi, thanks for coming.

How are you? Are you all right? Good to see you.

Good to see you. Thanks for coming. I'll see you in a minute, OK?

"This isn't so bad, actually. I got through the top floor in one piece."

- Oh, hi there. How are you?

- I'm fine.

You've lost some weight, haven't you?

- Are you coming down?

- What are you up to?

Well, you know, just keeping busy.

Hi. How are you? Fine.

"Wonder how Darren found half these people."

See you in a minute.

Hi!

Hi.

- I hope you don't mind my...

- No.

It takes a while to get used to it. Just check my look.

- How are you?

- Pretty good, pretty good. you know.

I'm going to Thailand in a couple of weeks.

Really? That's a long way.

Yeah. Well, it's something I've been meaning to do for a long time.

Anyway, happy birthday.

Yeah, thanks.

It's for Sal, somewhere.

Happy birthday, Leo.

Thanks.

"Now I remember why I didn't want this."

- Darren.

- Hello, birthday boy.

Listen, I asked the boys from downstairs and guess what?

- It turns out they're brothers.

- Hi.

- I told you... I'll get him back in five minutes.

- It was getting interesting.

Darren. Darren, what were you thinking? This is all I need.

I'm sorry, it's your birthday. I thought you might like it.

There's absolutely no-one here that I want to see.

Would you like me to send them all home?

- It's too late for that now, isn't it?

- Yes, it is.

Have I done a bad thing?

Come back to the party, little Leo.

No. No. I'm going to stay here and watch telly.

No-one will notice.

SHOOTING ON TV:

I really thought you were making progress.

I thought, "Marvellous. Leo's finally decided to live his life."

Wrong again.

Bye.

Hm.

"That's not fair. I WAS living my life. But things got very complicated."

- OK, start with his age.

- He's 35.

Well preserved 37 at a pinch.

- But gorgeous.

- Wait for me. Can't a girl have a pee? It's a long ride from Heathrow.

Here's your stuff.

- Darren, bags, Leo cologne.

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