Bedazzled Page #12

the angels, archangels,

that sort of thing.

Now you be me, Lucifer, the

loveliest angel of them all.

- What do I do?

- Well, sort of dance around

praising me, mainly.

- What sort of things do I say?

- Anything that comes into

your head that's nice.

How beautiful I am, how wise, how

handsome, that sort of thing.

Come on. Start dancing.

You're wise, you're

beautiful You're handsome

Thank you very much.

The universe

- What a wonderful idea.

Take my hat off to you.

- Thank you.

Trees, terrific.

Water, another good one.

That was a good one.

Yes! Sex... top marks.

Now make it more personal.

A bit more fulsome, please.

Come on.

Immortal, invisible.

You're handsome, you're,

uh, you're glorious.

Thank you. More!

You're the most beautiful

person in the world

Here, I'm getting a bit bored with this.

Can't we change places?

That's exactly how I felt.

I only wanted to be like him...

and have a few angels adoring me.

He didn't see it like that.

Pride, he called it. Sin of pride.

Flew into a monumental rage, chucked me

out of heaven, gave me this miserable job.

Just 'cause I wanted to be loved.

I had no idea.

It's a very sad story.

I suppose he had his reasons.

Oh, can't you stop?

It's a compulsion!

I'm compelled to. His orders.

Pathetic.

He moves in a very

mysterious way, you know.

Here, that's terrible!

But apart from the way he

moves, what's God really like?

I mean, what color is he?

He's all colors of the rainbow...

many-hued.

But he is English, isn't he?

Oh, yes. Very upper-class.

Course his son had a lot of problems,

having such a famous father.

I always felt sorry for Jesus having

his birthday on Christmas Day.

Just one lot of presents.

That's a bad day's work.

Oh, no. He's in here again.

Come on, Vanity, you

worthless old sin!

Stop preening! Get back and

tidy up your men's room!

How could he see where he's going?

He can't.

What rotten sins I've got working for me.

I suppose it's the wages.

Anyway, enough of my problems.

Sit down.

Thank you.

You must be exhausted after all

that business with Margaret.

Jealousy really takes it

out of you, doesn't it?

Think things over before you

decide on your next wish.

Don't rush into it.

Have a bit of kip.

Things'll seem clearer

in the morning.

You can use my bed if you like.

Slip into this.

Oh. Where will you sleep then?

Oh, don't worry about me.

I never do.

I had a fitful doze in the Middle Ages.

Since then, nothing.

- Go on. You can change through there.

- Thank you.

It's very kind of you to lend me

your room and your bed like this.

You're the first person who's

ever shown any concern for me...

and you're the devil.

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