Becoming Jane

"Boundaries of...

"propriety...

"vigorously assaulted...

"...propriety were..."

"The boundaries of propriety were

vigorously assaulted.

"The boundaries of propriety were

vigorously assaulted, as was only right,

"but not quite breached, as was also right.

"Nevertheless,

"she was not pleased."

- What is it?

- Jane.

Oh.

Jane!

Oh, dear me.

That girl needs a husband.

And who's good enough? Nobody.

I blame you for that.

Being too much the model of perfection.

I've shared your bed for 32 years

and perfection is something

I have not encountered.

Yet.

No. Stop it. Mr Austen, it's Sunday!

Stop, no, it's...

The utmost of a woman's character

is expressed in the duties of daughter,

sister and, eventually, wife and mother.

It is secured by soft attraction, virtuous love

and quiet in the early morning.

If a woman happens

to have a particular superiority,

for example, a profound mind,

it is best kept a profound secret.

Humour is liked more, but wit? No.

It is the most treacherous talent of them all.

Now, George, old fellow,

you know you have to stay.

- Jenny!

- George, George.

Hurry along, Jane! We'll be late!

When Her Ladyship calls, we must obey.

Come along, Jane.

Lady Gresham,

may I introduce my niece Comtesse De Feuillide

and Mr Fowle, Cassandra's fianc.

- Comtesse? Then you presume to be French?

- By marriage.

Monsieur le Comte is not here

to pay his respects?

A prior engagement, ma'am,

Monsieur le Comte was obliged

to pay his respects to Madame le Guillotine.

Oh!

I see your nephew is with us again.

Mr Wisley.

Wisley is indispensable to my happiness.

Well, do sit down.

Mr Fowle and Cassandra

are only recently engaged.

When shall you marry?

- Not for some time, Your Ladyship.

- Why not?

I'm also engaged to go to the West Indies

with Lord Craven's expedition

against the French, as chaplain.

- What has Craven offered you?

- I've hopes of a parish on my return.

How much is it worth?

Enough to marry on, in a modest way.

Mr Wisley, did you know

the Basingstoke assemblies resume?

Very soon, I believe.

- Jane does enjoy a ball.

- Wisley can't abide them.

But, sir,

a ball is an indispensable blessing

to the juvenile part of the neighbourhood.

Everything agreeable in the way of talking

and sitting down together

all managed with the utmost decorum.

An amiable man could not object.

Then I find I'm converted.

Displayed like a brood mare.

- Mr Wisley is a highly eligible young gentleman.

- Oh, Mother!

- You know our situation, Jane.

- Oh!

And he is Lady Gresham's

favourite nephew and heir.

One day, he shall inherit this.

Excellent prospects!

- His small fortune will not buy me.

- What will buy you, cousin?

More wary in the world, Mr Lefroy.

You can pay me for that later.

- Huzzah! Huzzah!

Come on, Mr Lefroy.

Come on, man, hit him!

Lefroy!

Glass of wine with you, sir?

- Madam.

- Displaying to advantage, I see, Lefroy.

- Like the sword, Austen.

How long before you have

to get back to the sticks?

A day.

So soon?

Doghouse, debts, but one must cut

some sort of a figure even in the militia.

Especially when condemned to a parsonage,

my friend.

Yes.

Still, who is this sour-faced little virgin?

Your pardon, ma'am.

Mr Tom Lefroy, may I present Mr John Warren?

Joining me in Hampshire,

my father is preparing us both for holy orders.

I understand you've visited Hampshire, Mr Lefroy.

Last year.

- Long visit, was it?

- Very long, Mr Warren. Almost three hours.

Mr Austen, you're devilishly handsome.

A kiss, a kiss.

Oops!

So, Tom, where should we go? Vauxhall Gardens?

Been there.

Lefroy, there's a Tahitian Love Fest on at White's.

Seen it.

- Crockford's?

- Crockford's? Done that.

Or did it do me?

Wh-wh-wh-what is a Tahitian Love Fest?

Warren!

I humbly beg your pardon, sir.

Theft of one pig is a crime, heinous to be sure,

but two pigs...

Two pigs is a violent assault

on the very sanctity of private property itself.

Excuse me.

You and your kind

are a canker on the body social.

And cankers are cut out.

Transportation for life. Next.

- Why are you here in London, sir?

- To learn the law.

- Which has no other end but what?

- The preservation of the rights of property.

- Against?

- The mob.

Therefore, order is kept because we have...

- A standing army?

- Good manners, sir, and prudence.

- Do you know that word? Prudence?

- Yes.

Consider myself.

I was born rich, certainly, but I remain rich

by virtue of exceptional conduct.

I have shown restraint.

Your mother, my sister, became poor

because she did not...

She married my father because she loved him.

Yes, and that's why you have so many

brothers and sisters back there in...

- Limerick.

- Mmm.

If you hope, I say hope...

If you aspire to inherit my property,

you must prove yourself more worthy.

But what do we find? We find dissipation

wild enough to glut the imaginings

of a Hottentot braggadocio.

Wild companions, gambling,

running around St James's

like a neck-or-nothing young blood of the fancy.

- What kind of lawyer will that make?

- Typical.

Humour?

Well, you're going to need that

because I'm teaching you a lesson.

I'm sending you to stay with your other relations,

the Lefroys.

- Uncle, they live in the country.

- Deep in the country.

- Jane?

- Mmm?

Can you?

Thank you.

I think you two

quite the prettiest sisters in England.

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