Because I Said So Page #3

Just like you.

Milly, you are gonna

thank me for this later.

Okay.

"Adult Friend Finder. "

"Over 14 million members. "

Well, that's a very good sign.

I like how they use

the word "friend. "

Friendship is the cornerstone

of any good relationship.

Oh, my God. Oh, sorry, Coop. I'm

sorry, honey. Wait, okay. Wait. Shoot.

Eat my dick.

No, no, no. Be quiet, okay? Gone,

gone. All goney, right? Gone.

Cooper, quiet.

Gateway customer support.

May I help you?

Mr. Online Support?

Yeah, no. What's happened is my

computer has apparently frozen.

No, I was just doing a little bit

of pre-Christmas online shopping.

Why do you need to know

what site I'm on?

Oh, my God.

God darn.

Hello, is this We Match 4 You?

"Let me preface this ad by saying if you

are a nut job, pervert or fruitcake, move on.

"Nudists, mama's boys, the

sexually confused need not apply. "

"Anarchists, xenophobes, philistines,

masochists, sexists, bigots not welcome. "

I know it's $5 a word.

No, well, don't worry.

I'm not that talky.

So let's just take it from

page two. "Chronically itchy. "

"I'm looking for someone with a

steady job who knows the value of work.

"That does not exclude

the independently wealthy. "

Okay, hope that goes out...

Polka dots. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, I like it.

I like it, I like it.

Oh.

Hi. You must be Daphne Wilder.

It's so nice to meet you.

Let's date your daughter.

I'll just dig in real quick,

'cause I'm hypoglycemic,

'cause otherwise my blood sugar hits

the ground and... You know? Okay.

I was just wondering what you think the

cornerstone of any good relationship is?

What is in there?

So why don't you just free associate,

okay? I say marriage, you say...

I say marriage.

No, no, I say marriage and...

I say marriage.

Right, but that's not what

I meant. I meant that...

I...

I...

Me.

Me.

I have a slight allergy

to dander and nut meats.

Okay, done,

thank you very much.

It's been wonderful meeting you. Thank you.

Appreciate it, yeah. Right.

Thank you very much. Okay, yeah.

If I say marriage,

then what do you say?

Vera Wang.

Your name is?

Louie.

Huey.

I've already got a woody.

Uh!

How old did you say you were?

My name is Dr. Iris McDunna.

I'm sorry, I'm right in the

middle here, Iris. I know.

I read your ad, "You'll

know me by my polka dots. "

I'm a licensed psychologist and

I wanted to offer you my services.

I wanted to suggest

that as a mother,

you attend, free of charge,

one of my Letting Go seminars.

Hi. I think we were

supposed to meet now.

Yeah. Oh, that's...

Right.

Right. That is so...

Iris, I'm so sorry.

I can't afford to be rude.

I'll leave you my card.

Thank you so terribly much.

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