Bark Ranger

Synopsis: Two kids and a trusty dog, Ranger (Jon Lovitz), stumble across a treasure map while playing in an abandoned ranger station. They set out on the adventure of a lifetime in search of a forgotten gold mine, but things take a turn for the worst when they come across a pair of bumbling crooks hiding out from the police.
Genre: Family
Director(s): Duncan Christie
Production: LionsGate Entertainment
  1 nomination.
90 min


Welcome to McKenzie Lake Park...

A beautiful family campground

way up north

in the middle of nowhere.

Really. No, seriously.

There's nothing around here

except for wide open nature

and deep woods,

which is really cool

if you like bugs and mosquitoes

and hears and snakes and...

Well, you get the idea.

I can't knock it too much, though.

It's got its perks.

Besides this is where I live

with my best friend, Jack.

This is where a really awesome

adventure took place one summer.

What's a great adventure

without a super good-looking hero?

Uh, guys?

I'm down here.

Keep going.

No, keep going-

There I am.



See what I mean about

good looking? Am I right?

Our story really gets going

the day Jack and I got into town.

Oh yeah.

Something so satisfying

about sticking your head

out the window.

There he is.

There's my best bud, Jack.

That's Jack's dad Blake.

He's a park ranger, which also happens

to be my name-Rangen.

Nice to meet you. I don't know why

they named me after the guy's job.

Just glad he's not a barber

or a guy who installs toilets.

That would sound stupid

when you called me at the park...

"Hey, Guy-Who-installs-Toilets,

get over here?"

Anyway, Jack and I

were best friends.

In fact, I was probably

Jack's only friend around here.

See, he was pretty lonely

at the park, so...

so coming into town

was a big deal for us.

There were new things to smell

and Jack got to hang out

with other humans and stuft.

Okay, I want you and Ranger

back in the truck in half an hour.

Can we make it an hour?

We hardly ever get to come into town.

No, pal. I'm sorry.

I got a quick meeting

at the town council

and then I got to get back.

They cut the budget,

so I got a lot of work to do.

All right, 45 minutes

and not a minute more, okay?

- Thank you.

- Don't get into trouble,

- not like last time.

- All right.

Come on, Ranger, let's go!

Come on!

This is awesome!

There's not much to do at the park,

so when we came to town,

we lived it up!

'Cause Jack's dad

was the park ranger,

well, we had some perks

that came along with that!

Oh my gosh, delicious!

Hey, let me ask you,

is there any greater meat in the world

than hot dog?


Yep, I'd say our little town parties

were always amazing!

Well, almost always amazing.

Well, well, well.

If it isn't Park Boy.

Hey, Frank. Ollie.

Guys, I just want

to eat my ice cream.

- I don't want to get in any trouble.

- No! Not the ice cream.

Nobody messes

with my best friend, buddy.

You just crossed a line.

Oh, I get it. You're still mad

because you got caught

trying to hand in

my book report.



Two against one

isn't really fair, guys.

Oh don't worry.

We'll take turns.

Okay, but there's one thing

you guys gotta remember.

- What's that?

- Ya gotta catch me first.

Let's get him.


This ain't over, Keller!

Okay, I have a confession to make.

I love the taste of rubber!

Here's the thing, though,

what's a really good

adventure story

without a couple

of really bad guys?

You think those bullies

were had,

we", they're nothing

compared to these bozos.

These guys are dan-ger-ous!

- Let's do this.

- Yeah.

- You clear on the plan?

- Oh yeah.

We go in and burgle the safe.


What's with

the fancy words, Carl?

Technically, what we're doing

is burglary not "roblary."

Carl, technically,

we're robbing the joint.

Carl, don't forget

your disguise!


- Gt it?

- Yeah, wait till you see!

All right.

- Hello!

- Can I help you?

Just came to set up

for the party

him u.

- You're not in the book.

- Hmm?

Oh, huh, that's because

it's a surprise party.

Yes. Shh.

Don't tell anybody.

It's a secret, you know?

If you're setting up for the party,

what's with the clown costume?

That is a fine, fine question,

my fine, fine friend.

And I think that that can

best be answered in two parts,

the first of which may...

Helium mixed with knock-out gas.



No. Heard it from other

hardened criminals like us.

Come on.

Hey, remember when I said

these guys were dangerous?

Yeah, well, I meant

they were dangerous to themselves.

You know, 'cause they're dumb!

Carl, there she is!

Okay, I'll have this safe open

in two to seven hours.

Hey Carl, snap out of it!

You must have inhaled some gas.


- What's that for?

- This is the dolly.

You put the safe on the dolly,

and you wheel it up to the van.

You got it?

Yeah, I'll meet you out there.

- Good job, bro.

- Thank you, sir.

Carl, what are you doing? Move it!

Man, this is heavy!

You know that's on wheels, right?

Yeah I know!

For the ramp.

Oh, right.

- Recess?

- No, Carl, the jig is up!


Move it!

- Ooh, wait a second.

- Carl!


Hey, hey, hev!

Good job, little bro.

Thanks, big bro!

Uh, Cafl?

Yes, Larry?

You wanna go a little faster?

Maybe step on it, ace?

- It's not me. Must be the safe.

- A little faster.

- It's heavier than we thought.

- A little faster!

- The engine can't take it!

- Yo.

- Parking brake's on!

- Oh.


N Fez'.!

I can't see!

I can't see! I can't see!

Carl, get the balloons

out of the car!

- I like them!

- Get rid of 'em!

- Fine!

- Not in the car!

Carl, not in the car!

- I'm gonna turn down here.

- No, keep going straight.

Oh, okay.

So while those two geniuses

were pulling ofl'

that mega heist,

I was at home with Jack,

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Jason Delaney

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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