Bang the Drum Slowly Page #4

Will you go sell insurance?

You don't know a soul on Earth

to sell insurance to

outside of ball players.

Will you sell insurance

to other insurance agents, huh?

And where will you find

people with money,

with the language you speak?

Henry, I hardly ever

even saw you wear a necktie.

Bradley...

shut up, will you?

Go get me a Coke.

What's up between you two,

Arthur?

What are you, a couple

of fairies, or something?

That can't be.

It's been a long time since I

run across fairies in baseball.

Jesus.

This is too much for me.

Oh, you'll understand it

sometime.

When?

Oh, I don't know,

maybe soon, maybe not.

Oh, I'll certainly be hanging

from my thumb, waiting to hear.

Christ Almighty, I've seen you

on days when you hated Pearson

when you ate him out as bad

as I myself ever ate him out.

I saw you once get up

from the table and walk away.

Well, that could be

love as well as hate.

It ain't love.

I didn't mean fairy love.

I remember one time

you come storming

into my office.

You caught him pissing

in the sink in Pittsburgh.

Cleveland.

Urinating.

Does this clause go on

forever? Hmm?

I have four catchers.

I have a catcher that's sold

on the sauce

and a Black catcher

that cannot hit

and a motorcycle catcher,

wild and crazy

and Pearson,

who's just plumb dumb.

I'd give both my right eyes

for Sam Mott of Cincinnati

but Cincinnati wants Arthur

and I can't give Arthur

or if I give you, I must have

Scutter or Faulkland

which the son of a b*tches

won't give me

eXcept for all

my right-hand power.

I could spare

my right-hand hitting

if I got Diel with Pittsburgh

but Pittsburgh wants Arthur

and I've already given you

to Cincinnati

on paper for Sam Mott.

So...

I must play my old catcher

on days when

he gets himself sorted out

and play my Black catcher on

days when my hitting is hitting

and play my motorcycle catcher

on days he ever comes

to his senses...

which so far, he's given me

no sign of really having any.

I'll ship him down

to Queen City

and see if they can talk him

off his motorcycle.

We must never have another

motorcycle in camp!

I've been trying for days

to get some sleep.

You know, when I stop

and think about it

I'm liable to wind up using

my plumb dumb catcher

more and more.

Some day you'll understand.

Nah, nah, forget about it.

That's too much to ask.

All right.

I will agree to the clause.

I've never done

such a thing before

and I wouldn't do it now...

eXcept there's a look

in your eye

that tells me I've got to.

Oh, Bruce.

- Yeah.

- Bye.

Have a good trip, okay?

Okay, I will.

Thank you.

- Hey, Holly? Holly.

- What?

You drive careful now.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes