Band Aid

Synopsis: A couple who can't stop fighting embark on a last-ditch effort to save their marriage: turning their fights into songs and starting a band.
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Music
Director(s): Zoe Lister-Jones
Production: IFC Films
  1 win & 2 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
91 min

- It's one dish.

- One dish?

Okay, are you blind or

just legally retarded?

- There is one dish in

that sink that I put there.

- Really, Ben?

- And you're,

happen to be quite the

dish Nazi, I might add.

When did you, everything is like,

this is not clean enough.

There's smudges on this plate.

- Don't do that.

Stop doing that.

For sure, stop doing that.

It's super offensive.

'Cause I come from a long

line of Holocaust survivors.

- How could there be a long

line of Holocaust survivors?

There's only one or two generations

that were in the Holocaust.

- You're gonna tell me

that there's one dish...

- Did you call me...

- In this sink?

- Legally retarded before?

It's so insensitive, it's so insensitive.


- I'm not doing this.

- Could you imagine if my aunt was here?

For someone that has

claimed to be offended

by conversation recently...

- Grow up.

- The word retarded

- I can't...

- Is so offensive.

- Fucking deal with you.

- Yeah, the are more...

- Honestly, Ben.

- There's more than one dish...

- Grow the f*ck up.

- This time.

- But you did say retarded.

- Like, seriously?

- And that is so hard to hear.

- How many years, Ben?

How many years, no.

- Particularly in the last 10

have people really started

to take offense to that word.

- How many years have I been

asking you to do the fucking dishes?

And it just still has to be

this cat and mouse game...

- Well, how many years...

- Where you force me...

- Have I been asking you...

- To be the nag?

- To give me

a blowjob every once in awhile?

I can't even remember

the last time.

- A blowjob?

- Would it kill you?

- Okay, how about this.

I've got a solution.

I'll do the dishes, and you

can go suck your own dick.

- F*ck you.

- F*ck me?

- Seriously, just f*ck you.

- F*ck you.

- It's so...

- F*ck you.

F*ck you, f*ck you.

F*ck you, f*ck you, f*ck you, f*ck you

F*ck you

- Oh shit, I gotta call my mom.

- No.

Please, please, please.

- I have to call her back.

- I literally...

- She's called me...

- I will throw my body...

- Three times this week...

- Out of this car.

- And I have not

called her back.

I have to call her back.

- I'll do anything.

Tell me, tell me, a blowjob.

Hang up, blowjob.

I swear to you.

Blowjob right now.

- Don't f*ck me up.

- Don't f*ck me up.

- Right now, right...

- Hello?

- Hi mom.

- Hi sweetie, how are ya?

- I'm good, I'm driving.

- Sherry Orlofski's son was driving

holding a cellphone, got hit by a bus.

He's paralyzed from the waist down.

He shits in a bag now.

- I don't know who Sherry Orlofski is.

I don't know why this is like,

what's going on?

- She's in my book club.

Are you with Anna?

- Yes.

No, no, I mean I'm

spiritually always with Anna,

but no, I am not with Anna.

- Okay, 'cause if she's not there,

there's something I need

to talk to you about.

- Uh, is everything okay?

- Honey, you gotta make me a baby.

- Mom.

- All my friends

have grandkids, Benny.

Everyone at book club's passing

out photos like it's 9-11.

- That is such a weird analogy to use.

- Yeah, but just gimme

a little grandbaby, honey.

I know it's scary.

I know it is.

- Okay.

- But you think I was ready for you?

I pooped you out like a dog in summer,

and I never regretted it.

All right, I gotta go.

I got a client.

Love you so much, all right.

Okay, okay?

- Okay.

- Okay.

- Love you.

- Did you not tell her?

- No.

I mean.

- No, you didn't tell her?

- No, I did, 1...

- You told me a year

ago when I told my parents,

you said that you told her.

- Look, you know my mom is crazy, right?

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Zoe Lister-Jones

Zoe Lister-Jones (born September 1, 1982) is an American actress, producer, director and writer who currently co-stars in the CBS sitcom Life in Pieces. She is also known for her work on the television shows Delocated, Whitney, and New Girl. more…

All Zoe Lister-Jones scripts | Zoe Lister-Jones Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:



    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)


    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


    "Band Aid" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 16 Jan. 2021. <>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    Band Aid

    The Marketplace:

    Sell your Script !

    Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!

    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.

    Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.