Bad News Bears Page #7

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honey.

Just like that story about the caterpillar

who's crawling along like a worm,

and then the next thing you know,

he's in that cocoon...

...and bam!

"Look at me now, I'm...

...a moth."

Or whatever the hell they turn into.

I don't want wings.

I want nice hips and C cups.

Hey, don't talk like that.

What's wrong with you?

Come on.

So how's your mom?

She's fine. What do you care?

Amanda, listen, just because we

didn't get along so well all the time,

doesn't mean I don't

care about her, okay?

You know, adults, they...

Sometimes, I don't know, it's just...

It's like that story I was telling you

about the caterpillar

and the worm deal.

You just walked out, you jerk.

You could have said goodbye.

Well, I'm sorry.

So, what do you want?

Why are you here?

I'm coaching a team out in the Valley,

and I was just thinking, you know,

maybe you might want

to come play with us.

No way. I'm a woman now,

and we don't do that kind of thing.

Well, sure you do.

Girls play baseball all the time.

Besides that, you owe me.

I was like a dad to you.

A drunk, lazy dad.

You made me climb under houses

looking for rats.

Well, that's what my dad did.

Builds character.

- This guy bothering you, Amanda?

- No, it's okay. He was just going.

Go away, Boilermaker.

You're scaring off the clientele.

Designer jeans.

Calvins, Jordache, certified vintage.

What do you say there, Hooper?

Feeling ready today?

Gonna go get them?

What's with the eye patch?

You gonna swab the on-deck circle

for us, matey?

Playing pirate?

Mom says I have cancer of the eye.

What the hell's wrong

with you guys?

We don't want to play no more.

We took a vote.

We're disbanding the team.

So one game, you want to quit,

is that it?

We've been taking

a lot of crap in school.

By "crap," he means ridicule.

And de-pantsing.

- It's been tough.

- Really? Tough, huh?

What the hell happened

to you, Tanner?

Got in a fight.

- With who?

- The sixth grade.

The sixth grade.

So I guess you

want to quit too, huh?

Okay.

Look, guys, I know I've been lazy...

...and irresponsible, and a few

other things I could mention.

And I've let you down.

I mean, you know,

I've been an a**hole.

- You know, go ahead and say it...

- You're an a**hole.

When I say, "say it," I mean,

you know, it's a figure of speech.

Baseball's hard, guys.

I mean, it really is.

You can love it, but believe me,

it don't always love you back.

It's kind of like dating

a German chick, you know?

But what I do know is that once you

start quitting, it's a hard thing to stop.

I've quit just about everything

I ever tried in my life.

And as far as I can tell,

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