Bad News Bears Page #3
- PG-13
- Year:
- 2005
- 113 min
- 2,014 Views
Oh, this is my friend Paradise.
Hi, nice to meet you.
Hey, Buttermaker, you gotta get
- Uniforms?
- Yeah.
All the good colors are taken:
Black and white, red and white,
blue and white, white and blue,
white and black,
white and red. They're all gone.
What uniforms?
"Mchte ich nicht" sweet and sour,
okay? No sweet and sour.
Just Cointreau, Patr?n,
lime juice and superfine salt.
- Yes, ma'am.
- Listen, Whitewood, what's the deal
- with the uniforms?
- What about them?
I didn't... What's-her-name said
that I gotta have uniforms.
Hey, buddy, give me a beer
and a C&C.
Buttermaker, you don't actually buy
them. You just need a sponsor.
You're the coach, it's your job.
Okay, so not only do I have to
coach the bronze medalists
for the Special Olympics, but I gotta be
an Amway salesman too, is that it?
Buttermaker, don't turn this
into high drama.
Restaurants, sporting goods stores,
you know.
You know, I got a job.
I got houses to spray.
It's ant season, you know?
that makes everything so hard?
I own my own law firm.
I'm a single mother, and I still
have time for extension courses,
Pilates, the flower-seed business,
pottery...
You know what, I'm busy too, okay?
I got important sh*t to do.
I got sh*t stacked up
all over the place.
Important man sh*t, okay?
Come on, Buttermaker, let's go.
Mr. Buttermaker?
- Yeah.
- Where are we going?
I already told you,
to the batting cages.
You guys swing like Helen Keller
at a piata party.
I'm gonna do something about it.
- Tell us about the majors, coach.
- You were in the majors?
Yeah, for a little while.
Hey, Lupus, don't lean against
that door, bud, all right?
Yes, I was recently perusing
baseballstats. org
and it said Mr. Buttermaker played
pitcher for the Seattle Mariners
for two-thirds of an inning in 1984.
Two-thirds, that's it?
Well, it was the end of the season,
you know, September call-ups.
That's lame.
Yeah, well I closed
the inning out, okay.
There's only a few thousand guys ever
set foot on a major-league mound,
and I'm one of them. What have
you done with your life, smart-ass?
Why didn't you stay?
Well, I was gonna come back,
but I had a little incident.
I punched an ump.
Really just a b*tch-slap.
How the hell was I supposed to know
he was a bleeder?
Fourteen stitches.
Like that means something.
They used to stitch everything up,
goddamn it. It was like the Dark Ages.
I got stitches on my foot.
Oh, yeah?
Well, I'm in a damn wheelchair.
Anyway, after that,
I blew off a few offers,
you know, Japan, sh*t like that.
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"Bad News Bears" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/bad_news_bears_3463>.
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