Bad Ass Page #3

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the best day of my life.

Here's to finding the best days

of our lives, Biscuit.

Do me a solid, will you?

Put this in your mother's

safe deposit box, will you please?

- What the f*** is this?

- It's a flash drive.

- A flash drive?

- That's right.

I got a lot of important stuff on there.

What, you know all about

that computer sh*t?

My ass is trying to learn.

And when I learn, I'm gonna teach you.

Nah, not me. I'm not interested.

One of these damn days, you're gonna

have to step out of the '70s.

No. Uh-uh.

Those were beautiful times.

You didn't have

to deal with all this sh*t.

Suicide bombings and taking

your shoes off at the airport.

No, you gotta watch it.

There's a lot of crazy sh*t out there.

Well, that's what's going on now.

We gotta get your ass into this century.

I'm gonna make that my mission

while we're living together.

Now put that in your mama's

safe deposit box, please.

Got it.

OK. All right.

Oh, sh*t. I'm out of smokes, man.

I'm gonna go out.

You know, my mom left a brand-new carton

of Newports right there in the kitchen.

I don't wanna smoke that menthol sh*t.

I'm gonna go get me my Camels.

Yeah.

Oh, son of a...

- OK?

- Don't go stepping on no landmine, huh?

You watch out

for the machine guns.

To Baxter and Klondike.

Ooh... OK, gonna call her back.

Hey!

What's happening, Sebastian?

Terence?

You're a hard man to find, Klondike.

What, you don't answer

your cell phone anymore?

Ah, sh... What can I tell ya, man?

Look here, the ringer's turned off.

What can I tell ya?

See what I'm saying?

My man here got jokes.

You doing some stand-up now?

You know what we want, gramps.

Give it up.

I'm drawing a blank,

you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, yeah.

You still having a tough time

remembering now, motherf***er?

Whoa, whoa!

I got the goddamn thing right here, man.

You had to do it the hard way.

Motherf***er.

Sebastian, leave him!

The cops are coming, we gotta go!

- Where is that sh*t?

- Let's get the f*** out of here, c'mon!

Sh*t!

Just get in the f***ing car.

Let's go, come on!

Hello?

Yeah, this is Frank Vega.

Frank Vega?

Can I get you to sign these releases?

You're that guy from the bus, huh?

Yeah, I guess so.

Haven't been beating up

on anyone else, have you?

I'm really not a violent guy.

Sorry about your friend.

You're gonna get those scumbags,

aren't you?

We're gonna do our best.

That's $12.59.

You know what? I'm a little short.

Can you spot me a couple bucks

until tomorrow?

Did you see a Salvation Army

sign in front of my store?

You know, I just moved

into the neighborhood.

I'll be by tomorrow

and pay you the rest.

Look, buddy,

I can barely pay the rent as it is.

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