Babes on Broadway

Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye.

Ladies and gentlemen,

this station has the honor to present...

...a weekly report on the New York scene

by Alexander Woollcott, The Town Crier.

This is Woollcott speaking.

This evening, instead of reporting to you

on the new plays along Broadway...

...I want to say a word about

the swarm of young hopefuls...

...who arrive in New York each year...

...determined to make good on the stage

if it takes a leg.

I have here over 1000 letters

from such young people...

...asking what to do, where to start.

Every one of these people...

...thinks that he has more talent

than 90 percent of the actors on Broadway.

Broadway. They call it

"The Great White Way. "

But it shines with a radiance

no electrical company can inspire.

It comes from the likes of you.

One word of advice,

take what you can get.

Grab the chances as they come along.

Act in hallways, sing in doorways...

...and if you have to, dance in cellars.

Hello, everybody. How do you do?

We're gonna do a song and a dance

and all for you.

Never seen a better crowd at any place.

We just wanna see you

have a smile on your face.

So here comes our bag of tricks.

We turn on the show.

Drop the nickel in, Nicky,

and here we go.

Hey! Hey!

New York, New York

Fascinating city

Magic castles rising in the air

Wall Street, Broadway

Guys are sittin' pretty

Every window hides a millionaire

So when defeatists holler

"There's no chance"

Just tell them this

But with a dirty glance

Once Mr. Woolworth

Didn't have a dime

And Irving Berlin

Didn't have a rhyme

And Thomas Dewey

Didn't have a crime

But anything can happen in New York

Once Rockefeller

Didn't have that oil

And Tiffany

He didn't have a pearl

And Ziegfeld

Didn't even have a girl

But anything can happen in New York

You, too, can be that big ball of fire

You, too, can have your name

In Who's Who

You, too, can climb up higher and higher

Until you reach that Rainbow Room

The Wall Street bankers

Didn't have a trust

The Automat

It didn't have a crust

The Hall Of Fame

It didn't have a bust

But even you can be one in New York

Yes, sir

You can be one in New York

You, too, can be that big ball of fire

You, too, can start from scratch

And get rich

You, too, can climb up higher and higher

Like Lord & Taylor, Bonwit Teller

Gimbel, Macy, Rockefeller

You can even be an Abercrombie Fitch

Once Mr. Morgan

Didn't have a yacht

And Joe DiMaggio

Didn't have a swat

The pot of gold

Didn't have a pot

But anything can happen in New

Don't mean innuendo

We mean only in New York

Yes, sir! Hey, hey, hey!

That's the show! Hey, hey!

Hey, that's us. Feed the little kitty, folks.

We take anything.

Hey, all the way.

Well, Nick, you got the armored car

outside for us tonight?

- Boys, I've got bad news for you.

- What's the matter?

I want you to resign.

You mean,

you want us to quit working here?

Oh, no, sir, Nick. We love you too much.

We wouldn't let you sit in this cellar

all by yourself every night, would we?

Then I got to fire you.

- Fired?

- Why?

Look, I got the business, yes?

I got the wife, I got the three kids...

...I got myself, I got you, yes?

- Yeah.

But I only got three customers

eating my spaghetti.

So, I've got to go out of business.

That's too bad, Nick.

Don't worry, Nick.

Spaghetti will come back someday.

Hey, what's this? Five bucks.

Wait a minute.

Who put this money in there?

- Five dollars?

- Yeah.

It couldn't be that icky from Waterbury,

could it?

I don't get it.

She probably thought it was a buck.

I'll have to give it back to her.

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