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Synopsis: In 1965, Bob Crane, who had achieved some earlier success as a television supporting actor, was working as a successful morning radio DJ at KNX Los Angeles. Despite enjoying his work, photography (especially of the female form) and drumming, Crane wanted to be a movie star. So it was with some reluctance that he accepted the title starring role in a new television sitcom called Hogan's Heroes (1965), a WWII POW comedy. To his surprise, the show became a hit and catapulted him to television stardom. The fame resulting from the show led to excesses and a meeting with home video salesman and technician John Carpenter, with who he would form a friendship based on their mutual interests, namely excessive sex (for Crane, purely heterosexual sex) and capturing nude females on celluloid. His fame allowed Crane to have as much sex as he wanted, which was incongruent to his somewhat wholesome television friendly image, and the way he portrayed himself to almost everyone except Carpenter and his
Director(s): Paul Schrader
Production: Sony Pictures Classics
  6 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
105 min

That's Gene Krupa on the drums,

folks. And if you believe that...

No, that's yours truly on the skins.

Sometimes wish I was Gene Krupa.

- I think I was born in a different era.

- Robert Crane. Robert...

Enough! This is KNX-CBS, 1070

on the AM dial, 93.1 on the FM dial.

Enough! This is KNX-CBS, 1070

on the AM dial, 93.1 on the FM dial.

It is beautiful in Hollywood,

they tell me. 72 degrees outside...

25 on the KNX clock...

Yes, Jack! I know!

I'll get to him.

That's Jackie Chapman,

our engineer, knocking.

Jack will be appearing later

today at the Ralphs market... the fresh fruit section,

if I'm not mistaken.

As regular listeners know,

from time to time...

...we have special guests,

and today, somebody truly special.

Mr. Clayton Moore,

the Lone Ranger, right over here!

And I've always wanted

to do this with you...

- Hi-yo, Silver. Away!

- I never get tired of that.

Do people recognize you

when you're out in public?

No. No, not really.

Can we get you to expose

yourself today on radio?

- Mask off? Reveal your identity?

- For you, Bob, sure.

Coming up next, a KNX first. We've

got the Lone Ranger, and he's naked!

- Don't tell Tonto.

- No, of course not.

First, a word from our sponsor,

Lucky Strike cigarettes.

I always wanted

to make an impression.

You know the type.

There's one in every class.

The cutup. Eddie Cantor once told

me like ability is 90% of the battle...

...and he was right.

Well, that's me.

I'm a likable guy.

Bob, sit!


I'm emceeing a lunch in an hour.

Humour me.

- Those the contracts I need to sign?

- Sit!

Your ears would've been

burning this morning.

I had breakfast with

the boys from CBS.

Got something very interesting.

This could be what you're looking for.

- What?

- A television series!

- Goodbye, Lenny.

- Listen to me. Stop running, will you?

I thought you were gonna get me

a Jack Lemmon role.

A feature. It's a critical time for me.

I need something big.

I can be Jack Lemmon.

You are Jack Lemmon.

And Jack Benny.

- Then get me a role.

- That's what this is!

Lemmon and Benny combined.

They want you for the lead.

Just promise me

you'll keep an open mind.

You ready?

It's set in a German prison camp.

- It's a drama?

- No! That... It's a comedy.

Oh, with the funny Nazis.

- It's a POW camp.

- With a laugh track?

Hey. This is first-class

all the way, my friend.

Bing Crosby Productions doing it.

Sounds like it could be

a career-killer.

Just read it?

He suffered under Pontius Pilate,

was crucified, died and was buried.

He descended to the dead.

On the third day, he rose again.

He ascended into heaven and is

seated at the right hand of the Father.

He will come again to judge

the living and the dead.

- You need a little bit of this.

- There you go, Bobby.

I think it's perfect for me.

I mean this character, Hogan...

...he's quick on his toes,

he's hip, he's a con artist.

I think it's what I've been

working toward my whole career.

You've been working

towards Holocaust comedy?

- Anne!

- What, Bob?

Not in front of the children.

They look up to me.

They're small.

They look up to everyone.

- That's funny. I gotta use that.

- Bob, for 15 years...

...l've followed you from job to job.

I'm your number one supporter.

I believe in you. But you expect

me to keep quiet when I see you...

...about to do something

that could ruin your career?

No, not me! Oh, no!

Help! Help!

Those are the right words...

All right, honey. You're right.

Family comes first.

I guess it's more important

than some TV show.

You really like the script?

It runs circles around

the other stuff I've been offered.

I know.

I read it.

You did?

It's funny.

Are you saying what

I think you're saying?

You'll quit KNX?

First I'll do both, like we did on

Donna Reed, but if it works...

Well, Donna Reed was part-time.

I just hope I can pull it off.

Hogan's in almost every scene.

You worry. You always worry,

but in the end you succeed.

Easy for you to say.

Hello, Henry.

Now, we're all professionals here.

You've all been working on your

characters, each with his own slant.

We have to keep in mind

this is a gang comedy.

It's funny to the extent the gang

is funny. Like an athletic team.

A great quarterback

without his offensive line...

...ain't gonna complete a pass.

Did you hear about the

Greek quarterback...

...who hated to leave

his buddies behind?

I think we get the point.

Let's pick up with Klink and Hogan.

The great disciplinarian...

...knows when to reward

and when to punish.

Now, my leniency

is a legend, right?

Wrong. You've got a reputation

to uphold, colonel.

You know that. I mean,

you're running the most brutal...

...prison camp in all of Germany!


Let's back up.

Bob, don't try so hard.

You're the hero of the show.

It's named after you.

And heroes don't try and be

heroes, they simply are. Okay?

Let's do it again. Same place.

The great disciplinarian knows...

- when to reward and when to punish.

Now, my leniency is a legend, right?

- Wrong.

- What do you mean?

You've got a reputation

to uphold, colonel.

You are running the most brutal

prison camp in all of Germany.

- I am?

- In the world! You're ranked third...

...behind Devil's Island and Alcatraz.

- Good.

And you're the toughest


In the last war it was "Kill the Kaiser."

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Robert Graysmith

Robert Graysmith (born September 17, 1942, as Robert Gray Smith) is an American true crime author and former cartoonist. He is best known for his works on the Zodiac Killer case. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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