Assault On Precinct 13

---

Listen to me. What are we

talking about, really?

Getting high? No.

We're talking

about a journey, man.

A subconscious safari.

A mental expedition, okay?

A mind trek.

This planet has been raped,

pillaged and f***ed,

all right?

And the mind is the only

uncharted territory...

and this sh*t is the ship.

lt's the Nia, the Pinta

and the Santa Maria,

and you are f***ing Magellan.

Oh, f***! l spilled some!

So, what do you say,

my Serbian

motherfucking friend?

Do you wanna take a trip

or do you wanna sit

on your ass?

Yeah, okay, Napoleon,

let's see what you got.

Robi.

That dog is really

creeping me out, man.

lt's a big f***ing dog.

lt makes my girl very uneasy.

l don't really like dogs.

The pooch was not invited.

You don't talk

about my f***ing dog, okay?

l handle it.

Can you tie it up

or something?

He do what l say.

Once l show him who's boss,

with a few treats

and some smacks.

[Milos speaking Serbian]

[Dog whining]

Good boy. Here's treat.

He knows who's boss, yes?

Sh*t, man! Hey, hey,

l got a dog, too.

Yo, Tony! l love this guy.

He works his ass off for piss.

All right, once l show him

who's boss with some

few smacks and some treatsies.

You got that?

You got a smoke?

No, no, l'm f***ing out.

l told you.

Are you giving me

some static?

No.

You giving me

the hairy eyeball?

You lrish f***ing pig!

F***! Huh? See?

[Jake whooping]

l got my dog, too.

[Speaking Serbian]

Here you go, dog.

[Speaking Serbian]

Are you guys in?

Are you in?

F*** you!

[Speaking Serbian]

What's your

f***ing lackey saying?

He say

that he knows your dog.

My dog?

He say that your dog testify

at his brother's trial

three years ago.

Oh, sh*t.

He also say that your dog

is not even a f***ing dog.

He's a dirty, f***ing pig!

And l believe him.

Oh, God!

F***! Call for backup!

Call for backup!

Unit 17 requesting backup.

TONY:
You okay?

CORAL:
Fourth floor,

one suspect.

Yeah, l'm all right. Come on!

Good dog. Good dog.

Sh*t! Sh*t!

All right, Coral, you take

that back stairwell there.

Got it.

Tony, come on.

Come on. Oh, sh*t. Okay.

You take this hallway

on the right.

All right.

l'll take the left.

Got you.

Can't believe

that cocksucker shot me.

Let's go.

Sh*t!

[Gun firing]

Tony! Tony?

[Groaning]

Oh, sh*t.

Officer down!

l repeat, officer down!

Suspect on north stairway!

l'm going after him!

And where the f***

is my backup?

Freeze!

Sh*t.

Sh*t. Sh*t. Sh*t. Help me!

l'm a police officer! Help me!

Call an ambulance!

Sh*t. Sh*t. Call an ambulance!

Sh*t!

[Gun cocking]

[Phone ringing]

Hello?

Yeah. Sh*t, yeah.

No, no, no. l'm up. l'm up.

l'll be right there.

All right. Bye.

Hi. Good morning, buddy.

Come here, shithead.

Come here.

Good morning.

RADIO ANNOUNCER:

lt's cold, people.

Detroit's gonna have a white

New Year's this year...

because we're getting hit

with yet another storm.

No sh*t.

Sports coming up.

This kind of sex...

is evolutionary instinct,

gentlemen.

Example, Tiger Stadium.

Bleachers empty,

except me and a friend.

We always get it on

whenever and wherever we can.

No one saw us except for

the left fielder. Let's just

say he enjoyed the show...

and, well,

l didn't mind the audience.

lmpulsive sex is in our genes,

boys. Don't deny yourselves.

l gotta go jump in the snow

to cool my sh*t off.

Have a good New Year, l.

You, too, babe.

That animal is your type,

lris. Probably an ex-con.

You two should hook up.

Sh*t.

F*** off, Carlyle.

We were just talking

about acting on impulses

with no guilt.

Don't get angry, l.

You only bed criminals.

Everyone knows that.

Which is unfortunate for me,

because l am in love with you.

l don't bed criminals.

l f*** bad boys.

Big difference.

l just hope l don't have to

become a f***ing ax murderer

to prove l'm worthy.

JAKE:
What the hell is this?

Fun and games?

Buzz kill.

Does anybody work

around here anymore?

CARLYLE:
Hey, Sarge,

you're late.

Happy New Year.

Hey, you're pissing me off.

Get out of here

before l give you

something to do.

l think you boys don't

wanna get stuck with us

here tonight.

Bye, boys.

l'll see you guys

at the new precinct.

Happy New Year, lris.

Later, lris.

Stuck?

That's not very nice, boss.

You're right. l apologize.

You're lovely and amazing...

and it's my honor to spend

New Year's Eve with you.

You're a sarcastic prick,

aren't you?

We are going to have

a good time tonight, boss.

We officially shut down

at midnight, but all calls

are being diverted...

so we might as well

be closed now.

We could start

getting f***ed up real early!

All right, not too early,

all right? We still gotta

pack this sh*t up.

Not much.

All the computers are gone,

most of the gear.

Now, come on, Sarge.

lt's my favorite holiday.

l even put on my very special,

sexy holiday boots.

Even though we're here,

l wanna do it right.

How could you possibly

do it wrong?

PRIEST:
Never take for granted

the greatest power of all.

The power to choose.

Consider the choices

you have made in the past.

And when they led you astray.

Faith, in times

of opposition...

will lead to your salvation,

for often the easy way...

will lead only to temptation.

Think of consequences...

and cherish your power

to choose the righteous path.

You figure l'd be more

liable to tell the truth

with God watching.

lf you believe in God,

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