Applesauce

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Did she find the dog?

Yeah, I saw her find the dog.

She must have

freaked out, right.

- She started running

around screaming and yelling,

freaking out.

And laid down and started

giving the dog mouth to mouth.

Disgusting.

Who would do such

a thing like that?

You must have

really hated that dog.

- No, the dog was great.

I loved that dog.

You loved the dog?

Then why did you poison it?

- Cruelty to animals is one of

the lowest things you can do.

You're a scumbag.

You asked me for the story,

I'm telling you the story.

Well I'm sorry I asked.

I hope someone poisons you, Ted.

I really do.

I think about the human race.

I think about the

end of the world.

I wonder about it.

Are we worth saving?

What kind of person poisons

his ex-girlfriend's dog

to get revenge?

How can you forgive someone

for something like that?

Can you forgive them?

I don't know.

It's hard to have faith

in the human race

when there are people

like Ted walking the earth.

You're listening to

Stevie bricks show

and this is Stevie bricks

and I thank you if you're

tuning in tonight.

It's tell-all Tuesday

and I want to know the worst

thing you've ever done.

Maybe you're a

high school teacher

and you've had sex

with a student.

Maybe you're an ex-Nazi

and you worked in a

concentration camp.

Or maybe you worked at

the world bank or tmz.

Whatever it is, this is a chance

for you to tell your story.

Ron from New York,

you're on the air.

What's the worst thing

you've ever done?

- I can't believe I'm

talking to Stevie bricks.

- Man, I love your show.

- Thanks.

- I listen to you

all the time, man.

- All the time.

- Ron, you flatter me.

- What's the worst thing

you've ever done?

- Well, I've never

told anyone this story.

Okay, well let's hear it.

- It was a long time ago.

It was in college, actually.

- Mm-hmm.

What happened?

Did you take advantage

of someone?

No, like a girl?

I would never do

anything like that.

Well, what did you do, Ron?

Hmm?

- I'm sorry, man.

I'm just nervous.

I've been carrying this story

with me for a long time.

Tonight's the night i

finally share it with the world.

Here it goes,

the worst thing I've ever done.

- I cut off a man's...

- Ron, we got to go. We're late.

- Who are you talking to?

- It doesn't matter.

- Honey, we got to go. We're already late.

- It's okay.

Ron, you there?

- Yeah, we are just

dealing with something.

I'm dealing with my wife

actually, so it's fine.

- Who is it? Who are you talking to?

- It doesn't matter.

- I just don't want

to lose the table

because we all have to

sit at the same time.

- Okay, it looks like Ron is

in the middle of some sort of

domestic dispute.

- We can't sit down

until all of us are there.

- Ron, this is live radio.

I don't have a second.

- No, no it's fine.

It's all taken care of,

because I'm going to tell

you the story right now.

I'll give you 30 seconds.

- Uh-huh.

Some other time, Ron.

- Hello?

- 29, 28

- hello?

- 27, 26...

He hung up.

Who were you talking to?

Stevie bricks.

Stevie bricks, the radio guy?

- Ron, he's totally obnoxious.

Come on, let's go.

- How are you

already ready to go?

You take forever to get ready.

- Are you really

wearing that shirt?

What's wrong with this shirt?

- You look like a

Mexican Ken doll.

- I'm not a 12-year-old, okay.

I can listen to whatever I want.

Besides, I don't give you a

hard time about watching that

prison show you love so much.

- Yeah,

but why would you call in?

- Can you slow down

a little bit?

- Ron, no.

We're running late.

- You're power walking

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