Antibirth

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Motherfuckers!

- Alright, let go.

Hey, come on.

Let's do it right here,

what you got?

- Come on, it'll be alright.

Jade's waiting.

- Thanks, okay.

- How long have you been

feeling like this?

- I don't know, uh..

...couple of days.

I guess since the other night.

- What happened?

- I don't know, I -- I blacked

out, I can't remember.

- You black out lots?

- Anha,

i feel like shit, alright?

My back is killing me.

- How are your breastasis?

- My titties fuckin' hurt.

You know,

and they're not even that big.

- You got nice tits, Lou.

- Thanks, Sadie lady.

- What's your diet

normally like?

- What do you mean?

- She eats like shit.

- No, I don't.

- She microwaves everything.

It's beast food. It's true, Lou.

- When was the time

of your last period?

- Uh...Recent enough?

- Do you remember the last time

you performed intercourse?

- Uh, it was not much

of a performance.

- Better not have been Mickey.

- You drink?

- Yeah, yeah, obviously.

- Everyday?

- Anha, come on, yeah.

- You gonna wanna see

a doctor, Lou.

- Come on, anha,

i -- I can't afford that, okay?

Anha, look,

i -- I don't have insurance.

I was just hoping you could,

you know, really suss it out.

- Lou, I work for a vet.

I can't prescribe anything.

- Look, I feel like shit,

alright?

I just need something

to take the edge off.

- You can go

to the military clinic.

It's free.

Thank you, thanks a lot.

- They're prenatal vitamins.

My sister never took them.

- F*ck.

Man, thanks for nothing, anha.

F*ck!

- What do you wanna do now?

- I don't know.

Let's grab some booze

or snacks.

- That's what he said.

- Yeah.

- You didn't hear me?

- I don't know.

I don't listen.

I haven't been laid in months,

okay?

I know that I been, uh,

on a bender.

But I think I'd remember

if I had someone's cock in me.

- Maybe you should

sell yourself on TV.

One of those

phantom pregnancies?

Those girls

who go through it all

and didn't even realize

they were pregnant.

You know, and then it falls out

all preemie

and they bury it in the closet

before prom?

- Fuckin' preemie, Sadie.

- Well, born too soon.

- Shit's fucked up.

I don't know, f*ck it, like

what does anha know anyway,

right? She's a vet.

Shitty vet.

- Well, you said it yourself,

Lou, you've been on a bender.

You just need to stop partying

for a couple days.

- I'm not a dog, you know.

She doesn't even know

anything about people.

Mm, I heard a dog got addicted

to heroin because of her.

I got too high. I mean..

I just.. I really

can't be pregnant, alright?

It's not my style.

- You can always get rid of it.

- I'm not gonna pay some

asshole to scramble my guts.

- There's always someone

who wants a baby.

Just adopt it out.

- You think I can find somebody

to push me down

a staircase or something?

I can't believe I have to quit

drinking, uh, no smoking.

Who -- who needs that shit?

Jeeze Louise, come on, Sadie.

- Lou, you can handle it.

I was pretty wasted

when I was pregnant.

- And what was that like?

All that you know..

- It was so long ago,

i don't remember.

- Come here.

Thank you.

Why don't you go ahead

and, uh, load up

the cooler, baby?

Trish?

- Can I get you anything?

- No, no, thanks. I'm good.

- He'll take a beer.

- You ever think it --

it's kinda funny that, uh

they wouldn't need

the clean piss

if they weren't getting high.

- I'm not responsible

for their habits.

If somebody's gonna make

any money off it,

it's gonna be me.

- Oh, yeah. Yeah.

- What am I gonna do,

send her back to Russia?

- Well, no, but,

I mean you can't..

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