Answers to Nothing Page #5

It's been nine years.

He's never coming back.

I don't know why my mother

can't get that through her skull!

I win. I win

I've got the most f***ed-up

parents on the planet.

My mother's an idiot.

He lies to her, Ryan.

He's the one you

should be angry with.

He tells her that he's dealing

with his parents' estate.

He tells her that the French government

is screwing everything up.

He tells her that his...

his heart problem

prohibits him from flying.

For nine years!

Who believes that?

I know. I get it.

It's not exactly...

Normal.

Practical.

She believes what

she wants to believe,

what she needs to believe

in order to survive.

The results came back from Dr. Klein.

Your sperm passed the test.

Great.

At least my cum's

got its sh*t together.

Yeah.

So, um,

we can have sex tonight.

Um, then no sex for 48 hours,

but, uh, we can tonight if you want.

You don't have to.

I'm okay.

I'm fine, good to go.

I'm gonna go upstairs.

I'll be upstairs.

Hi.

Hey, how are you

doing this morning?

Good.

Uh, chocolate sugar twist,

three dough nut holes

and a black coffee.

Yeah.

Earlier this evening,

family, friends and supporters

gathered for a vigil

for the missing girl.

Anybody watching this?

As far as Fresno came,

bringing flowers...

Good.

Just want to check

the Dodger highlights.

Two on and two outs.

And Johnson's first hit,

and laces it into the gap

in left center field.

Parilla scores, Revie scores,

and Hudson hasn't...

All right, so we've left

Maggie in the park, right?

And she's got her one-year-old,

and they're in the stroller,

and as they're walking

to the playground,

she sees this really

hot black couple.

African-American.

We have an African-American

president, Archie Bunker.

Okay, all right.

Well, I didn't vote for him.

So, uh, anyway, this super-hot

African-American couple

has got a ridiculously cute

African-American baby

also in a stroller,

and as the two groups

approach each other, you know,

they're oohing and ahhing

over the babies

and saying the other one's

cuter and all this stuff,

and, uh, Maggie asks

how old her son is,

and she gets down

in front of the stroller

and says, "Hi, little monkey!"

No, okay, come on.

Bear with... This really

happened to my wife.

M-My wife really did this.

Um, and so right after

Maggie says this,

she gets that hilarious look

on her face, you know,

and she immediately

turns to her son

and goes, "And here's

my little monkey." You know?

And she's so embarrassed

that she just calls everything-

man, woman, child, animal...

everything's a monkey.

Monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey.

She just keeps saying

everything's a monkey,

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