Angus Thongs And Perfect Snogging

Synopsis: Angus the fluffy cat retains its dignity even in a crazy Eastbourne family, unlike them. Eldest daughter Georgia is completely besotted with 'Stiff Dylans' band hottie Robbie, who just moved in from London and helps run an organic groceries shop with his brother Tom, whom her best friend Jas has the hots for. Peter Dyer calls Georgia his best ever kissing-course pupil, but she ignores him and later the brothers' other classmate Dave the Laugh. Robbie was considering to dump haughty Lindsay, but reconsiders given the immature brat's apparent cruelty. Thus manipulative Georgia keeps changing her mind about a grand birthday party and her father's career opportunities as engineer in New Zealand, while mother seems to flirt with hunky interior decorator Jem.
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance
Director(s): Gurinder Chadha
Production: Nickelodeon Movies
  3 wins & 1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
6.4
Rotten Tomatoes:
72%
PG-13
Year:
2008
100 min
Website
2,623 Views


For the zillionth time, Dad, I'm an adult.

You don't have to stalk me.

Georgia,

I said I'm dropping you off.

Now, just take off that shell

and get in the car.

Dad, my costume is the business.

I don't want it to get crushed.

You look fantastic, love.

I just don't want you

walking around the streets on your own.

Do you have any idea

how long it took to get this right?

I have to make an entrance.

What's that?

And what are you supposed to be?

An obese leprechaun?

Anyone can see I'm a stuffed olive.

Stuffed is right.

What happened to you, Ellen?

You were supposed to come

as a cocktail sausage.

Well, my mum said no,

her being a vegetarian and all.

Jas? Cheese and pineapple stick?

Well, the cheese made me look fat

and yellow washes me out.

I didn't know how to be a vol au vent.

But we said we'd all go

as hors d'oeuvres to be original.

It was supposed to be a laugh.

But boys don't like girls for funniness.

- Sorry, Georgia.

- Wait, Georgia.

- Georgia, don't go.

- Georgia!

Georgia, what are you doing?

You'll be late for your first day

back at school.

I'm coming.

- Georgia, Mummy wants you.

- Libby.

Oh, flip, flipper and flipping hell!

Excusez-moi. C'est trs grotesque.

If you don't mind?

Oi! Cheeky.

Libby, stop putting Angus in the fridge.

What do you want

for breakfast, munchkin?

Stuffed olive?

Just because I did something so beyond

the Valley of Sad City last night

it doesn't give you the right,

as my parents, to humiliate me further.

Today is the first day of my life

as the new Georgia.

And who is she, my little elf?

She's not an "elf". Not a munchkin.

She is a mature, sophisticated woman

called Ms Georgia Nicolson.

So, to celebrate the new me,

I've decided what I want to do

for my birthday party this year.

I want a proper party in a club,

with a D.J.

You're not old enough to get into a club,

never mind hire one out for a party.

If you haven't noticed, I'm a woman now.

I wear a bra!

Bob.

Are you really trying to

damage me permanently?

There's no way that you are having

a party in a club

where there's drinking,

and it's full of randy men.

What sort of parents

do you think we are?

- Do you really want me to answer that?

- That's enough, missy.

- Why would we damage you?

- We made you.

Honestly, Georgia, this attitude is...

Welcome to the tragic universe

that is my sad life.

Why? I'll give you

five major reasons why.

Number one,

my parents are from the Stone Age.

- No us, no you.

- God knows what you'd do.

- You understand? You wouldn't exist.

- Yeah.

Number two, they hate me having a life

'cause theirs are practically over

and mine's just starting.

- And it's not good enough.

- Honestly. Every year it's...

- Number three.

...a performance...

My little sister's bonkers. Poor Angus

will need even more therapy than me.

- A lot of trouble!

...because of your fifteenth birthday...

- Number four...

...it's not good enough.

- ... my nose is the size of Jupiter.

...so ungrateful.

- I need to go into an ugly home.

- Georgia,

what have you gone and done now?

How did you manage

to pluck them all so quickly?

You haven't, have you?

Oh, crikey. Bob, she shaved them.

Number five, I'll never get a boyfriend.

What's the hurry

with growing up so fast?

Why don't you just enjoy being 14?

Enjoy being 14? How twisted is that?

And if home isn't mental enough,

I have to spend all day at this loony bin,

or as some people call it, school.

Sometimes I think Jas and I are

the only normal people here.

There's Dave the Laugh.

- Why do they even call him that?

- Okay, now get this one.

Boys are such a mystery.

- Yeah, how was that?

- Oi, Nicolson! Watch it.

The Bummer Twins

are the school bullies.

- Twice as mean.

- What?

Twice as mingy.

Lindsay "Slag" Marling

from the year above.

She really is Miss Slag of the Century.

And where did she get

those bazoomas?

How did they grow that fast?

Two minutes to lessons, children.

Let's not start the term

with a detention, Nicolson.

Our headmistress, Slim,

likes to oppress me,

'cause I caught her once

with her skirt in her knickers.

I laughed so much I nearly fainted.

- Hey, guys!

- Luckily I've got my Ace Gang

to fill in the long hours

before we get released.

- Christmas tree.

- D.J.

Ellen, Rosie, Jas and moi.

Now, when your hands are numb you lift

them up to your bazoomas and press.

See? It feels like someone else

is touching them,

not your own hands, right?

- Wow. Freakilicious.

- Oh, I could get used to this.

I don't think we should be doing this.

It's kind of lesbiany.

Well, you asked me

what it was like to be felt up.

So, what's the best thing

about having a boyfriend then?

It just feels really natural.

You know, really grown up.

And the snogging is wicked.

Sven uses varying pressure.

That's what foreign boys do.

My parents snog occasionally.

Even at their age.

Cringey.

Seeing old people over the age of 30

snogging is just horrific.

Of all of the boys I've ever snogged,

Sven is definitely the best.

'Cause he's emotional.

Where have you got to

on the snogging scale?

What?

Jas and I invented a snogging scale.

The Ten Stages of Snogging.

- You're mad.

- No. It's scientific.

- How would you know anything about it?

- Please.

- Who got 82% in Bio?

- True.

We cut out all the letters about kissing

from the problem pages

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote

Gurinder Chadha

Gurinder Chadha, (born 10 January 1960) is an English film director of Kenyan Asian origin. Most of her films explore the lives of Indians living in England. This common theme among her work showcases the trials of Indian women living in England and how they must reconcile their converging traditional and modern cultures. Although many of her films seem like simple quirky comedies about Indian women, they actually address many social and emotional issues, especially ones faced by immigrants caught between two worlds. Much of her work also consists of adaptations from book to film, but with a different flare. She is best known for the hit films Bhaji on the Beach (1993), Bend It Like Beckham (2002), Bride and Prejudice (2004), Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging (2008), and the comedy film It's a Wonderful Afterlife (2010). Her latest feature is the partition drama Viceroy's House (2017). more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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