
Angus Thongs And Perfect Snogging
For the zillionth time, Dad, I'm an adult.
You don't have to stalk me.
Georgia,
I said I'm dropping you off.
Now, just take off that shell
and get in the car.
Dad, my costume is the business.
I don't want it to get crushed.
You look fantastic, love.
I just don't want you
walking around the streets on your own.
Do you have any idea
how long it took to get this right?
I have to make an entrance.
What's that?
And what are you supposed to be?
An obese leprechaun?
Anyone can see I'm a stuffed olive.
Stuffed is right.
What happened to you, Ellen?
You were supposed to come
as a cocktail sausage.
Well, my mum said no,
her being a vegetarian and all.
Jas? Cheese and pineapple stick?
Well, the cheese made me look fat
I didn't know how to be a vol au vent.
But we said we'd all go
as hors d'oeuvres to be original.
It was supposed to be a laugh.
But boys don't like girls for funniness.
- Sorry, Georgia.
- Wait, Georgia.
- Georgia, don't go.
- Georgia!
Georgia, what are you doing?
You'll be late for your first day
back at school.
I'm coming.
- Libby.
Oh, flip, flipper and flipping hell!
Excusez-moi. C'est trs grotesque.
If you don't mind?
Oi! Cheeky.
Libby, stop putting Angus in the fridge.
What do you want
for breakfast, munchkin?
Stuffed olive?
Just because I did something so beyond
the Valley of Sad City last night
it doesn't give you the right,
as my parents, to humiliate me further.
Today is the first day of my life
as the new Georgia.
And who is she, my little elf?
She's not an "elf". Not a munchkin.
She is a mature, sophisticated woman
called Ms Georgia Nicolson.
So, to celebrate the new me,
I've decided what I want to do
for my birthday party this year.
I want a proper party in a club,
with a D.J.
You're not old enough to get into a club,
never mind hire one out for a party.
If you haven't noticed, I'm a woman now.
I wear a bra!
Bob.
damage me permanently?
There's no way that you are having
a party in a club
where there's drinking,
and it's full of randy men.
What sort of parents
do you think we are?
- Do you really want me to answer that?
- That's enough, missy.
- We made you.
Honestly, Georgia, this attitude is...
Welcome to the tragic universe
that is my sad life.
Why? I'll give you
Number one,
my parents are from the Stone Age.
- No us, no you.
- God knows what you'd do.
- You understand? You wouldn't exist.
- Yeah.
Number two, they hate me having a life
'cause theirs are practically over
and mine's just starting.
- And it's not good enough.
- Honestly. Every year it's...
- Number three.
...a performance...
My little sister's bonkers. Poor Angus
will need even more therapy than me.
- A lot of trouble!
...because of your fifteenth birthday...
- Number four...
...it's not good enough.
- ... my nose is the size of Jupiter.
...so ungrateful.
- I need to go into an ugly home.
- Georgia,
what have you gone and done now?
How did you manage
to pluck them all so quickly?
You haven't, have you?
Oh, crikey. Bob, she shaved them.
Number five, I'll never get a boyfriend.
What's the hurry
with growing up so fast?
Why don't you just enjoy being 14?
Enjoy being 14? How twisted is that?
And if home isn't mental enough,
I have to spend all day at this loony bin,
or as some people call it, school.
Sometimes I think Jas and I are
There's Dave the Laugh.
- Why do they even call him that?
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"Angus Thongs And Perfect Snogging" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 26 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/angus_thongs_and_perfect_snogging_2883>.