Angus Page #3

pretending they want to be there.

- Troy, we are those d*ldos.

- It's just for kicks.

Your mom's making you go to the dance.

Why did you tell her about it?

I don't tell her everything.

Green Day! Phone!

- Hey!

- Sh*t! Little f*ggot pinhead, you better watch it!

Hey, lay off, man.

Thanks for the tackle,

Baffoon... er, Bethune.

Ignore him, Angus. He's an a**hole.

Angus!

What's the problem here?

You got a temper? Save it for the football field.

- But he...

- Save it, Angus.

If you want out of here,

I can arrange it right now.

If you want into Jefferson,

you're gonna have to do better than this.

One suspension you lose your shot,

and I will suspend you, Angus.

All right, let's clear out. Come on,

come on. Nothing to look at.

Nothing to look at. Let's go.

What's with the sad puppy look?

Melissa move away or something?

Talk to her, eh? Just once before I die.

Will you do that, please?

Grandpa, she's popular.

- You're not?

- (Scoffs) I'm a babe magnet.

Runs in the family.

Grandpa, everyone'll think I'm a jerk.

Angus, remember these words

and always live by them:

"Screw 'em! Who cares what anyone thinks?"

I do.

Move.

You think I don't know how hard

it is to talk to a girl? I know.

It wasn't easy for me to ask April out.

You know why I did it?

'Cause you're old and cenile?

- 'Cause I said "screw 'em".

- Any minute now you're gonna start drooling.

- And I went ahead and asked her.

- I'm not gonna be your drool wiper.

- I didn't care what anybody thought.

- You can't remember what anybody thinks anyway.

Your mind is shot.

Grandpa? You don't talk to Melissa Lefevre

when you're a fat kid who's good at science.

You're not the fat kid who's good at football?

Angus, you're not fat. You come from big people.

My father was big. Your grandmother, she was big.

- You're normal for where you come from.

- I'm not normal.

- Well, I'm big. I'm normal.

- You're definitely not normal!

- You're at an irritating age.

- So are you.

It's time to take your pill.

Finally.

[ Music playing:
"Kung Fu" by Ash ]

They sent out School Spirit Day flyers.

Why aren't you wearing blue?

- Who reads those things?

- Obviously everyone but you.

Maybe if you shut up, no one will notice.

I am a recycling bin. I need love.

I need trash. If everyone would just give me

their paper cups and plates

I'm getting a boner!

and I'll be happy.

Thank you. Thank you very much

for your enthusiasm.

I see that the time has come

to announce who you've elected

as your king and queen for your

freshmen Winter Ball this year.

I think we know who the king of the

Winter Ball is this year, don't we?

Hey, it's not in the bag, but, uh,

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