Anger Management Page #2

handled that situation?

Not as well as l could've.

Remember, Lou, temper's the one

thing you can't get rid of by losing it.

Now, Fury Fighters, let's say hello

to someone...

...who's joining our quest to get

the anger monkeys off our backs:

-Dave.

-Hi, Dave.

Hi.

Good news, l fed my anger monkey

a banana this morning...

...and he's feeling much better.

More good news, you won't have to

listen to those lame jokes...

...because l'm only here

for one session.

Dave assaulted a female

flight attendant in midair.

-Nice.

-I bet you beat her good.

I didn't beat anybody.

I touched a woman.

Liar. Bullshitter.

You're a woman beater.

You can't admit it because you're

a piece of garbage.

I don't know about all that,

but now l understand why you're here.

I'm here because l was verbally

attacked by my neighbor.

And l took a dump on his porch.

I guess you're better than me.

That's why you can't cop to your rage.

You're superior. He's superior.

-Maybe Dave's not ready yet, Chuck.

-You're not ready. Hear what he said?

Let's introduce Dave

to some of the rest of us.

Girls, why don't you tell Dave

what brought you here.

I'm sure he'd love to listen

to what you guys have to say.

We always do.

-Come on, Dave. Join us.

-Okay.

Okay. Well, we're

in the adult film industry.

And we're lovers.

One day, Gina was having sex

with this Filipino guy Melo...

-...which was cool, it was in the script.

-Sure.

And then l asked Melo

back to the house with us...

...which is cool, because,

well, we like a little variety.

Variety's good.

So anyway, in the middle

of our session...

...l look up and l see Gina

kissing Melo on the mouth...

...which is not cool because it

violates our threesome code of ethics.

-Stacy bit my toe off.

-Then Melo freaks out...

-...and calls me a crazy skank.

-Nobody talks to my b*tch that way.

-So l stapled his lips shut.

-Here we are.

Well, we've all been there.

-I like him.

-Yeah, he's funny.

Not as funny as you.

I like that.

-All right, girls.

-Let it go. Let it go a little bit longer.

Walk it off.

Nate. Didn't we decide that you

shouldn't listen to the ball game?

Don't worry, Dr. B, it's just a regular

season game. Not important.

H.e missed the lay-up!

See? lverson just missed a lay-up

at the buzzer, Sixers lose.

Who gives a crap, huh?

I mean, it's just a silly game, anyways.

The anger sharks are swimming

in my head.

You gotta dunk that sh*t!

You gotta dunk that sh*t!

Listen to me. Stay with me, Nate.

Now, repeat after me, Nate:

Goosfraba.

Goos blah blah.

Not "blah blah," Nate.

Goosfraba.

Goosfraba.

That's good. Slower.

Goosfraba.

How do you feel?

Better.

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