Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy Page #5

before we're doing the no-pants dance.

Time to musk up.

Wow. It never ceases to amaze me.

What cologne you gonna go with?

London Gentleman, or...

Wait. No, no, no. Hold on.

Blackbeard's Delight.

No, she gets a special cologne.

It's called Sex Panther by Odeon.

It's illegal in nine countries.

Yep, it's made with bits of real panther.

- So you know it's good.

- It's quite pungent.

Oh, yeah.

It's a formidable scent.

It stings the nostrils.

- In a good way.

- Yep.

I'll be honest with you.

That smells like pure gasoline.

They've done studies, you know.

- That doesn't make sense.

- Well...

Let's go see

if we can make this little kitty purr.

Hey, sweet cheeks.

Got an invite I'd like to extend your way.

My God. What is that smell?

Oh!

That's the smell of desire, milady.

God, no, it smells like...

Like a used diaper

filled with Indian food.

Oh! Excuse me.

Desire smells like that to some people.

What is that?

Smells like a turd covered in burnt hair!

It smells like Bigfoot's dick!

- Oh.

- Oh, hell, that's rank!

Oh, what's that smell?

This is worse than the time

the raccoon got in the copier.

Yeah.

It's very distracting.

- When we get to the pet shop...

- Cough!

Look over here.

Excuse me, Veronica.

Yes, what is it, Brick?

I would like to extend to you

an invitation to the pants party.

Excuse me?

The party. The pants...

With the pants. Party with pants?

Brick, are you saying

that there's a party in your pants

and I'm invited?

That's it.

Did Brian tell you to say this, Brick?

No... Yes, he did.

Okay. No, I don't want to go

to a party in your pants.

Very well. Lan?

Would you like to go to a party

in my pants?

No, Brick.

All right. Let's go!

All right, now...

It's all right! I'm all right!

I'm telling you, she is a real ball-buster.

A real ice queen.

I just burned my tongue.

The only way to bag a classy lady

is to give her two tickets

to the gun show

and see if she likes the goods.

One thousand one, one thousand two.

- Mr. Burgundy?

- One thousand three.

Helen said that you needed to see me?

Oh, Miss Corningstone.

I wasn't expecting company.

Just doing my workout.

Tuesday's arms and back.

- You asked me to come by, sir.

- Oh, did I?

Yes.

Oh, it's the deep burn! Oh, it's so deep.

I can barely lift my right arm

'cause I did so many.

I don't know if you heard me counting.

I did over 1,000.

You have your ubulus muscle

that connects to the upper dorsinus.

It's boring, but it's part of my life.

I'm just gonna grab this shirt,

if you don't mind.

Just watch out for the guns.

They'll get you.

You are pathetic.

This has to be the feeblest pickup

attempt that I have ever encountered.

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