Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy Page #3

but nice try.

Diversity means

that times are changing,

and with that in mind...

- Ron, are you paying attention?

- Nope.

- This concerns all of us.

- Okay.

Keeping that in mind,

I'd like to introduce the latest addition

to the KVWN News Team,

directly from WYPN

in Asheville, North Carolina,

Ms. Veronica Corningstone.

Hello. Hello, everyone.

I just want you all to know

that I look forward to contributing

to this news station's

already sterling reputation.

I mean, come on, Ed! It's bull crap!

Don't get me wrong. I love the ladies.

They rev my engine,

but they don't belong in the newsroom!

It is anchorman, not anchorlady!

And that is a scientific fact!

I don't know what we're yelling about!

- Ron, what do you think?

- She... It's terrible!

She has beautiful eyes,

and her hair smells like cinnamon!

Loud noises!

All right, everyone relax.

She's not gonna take anyone's airtime.

I read somewhere

that their periods attract bears.

Bears can smell the menstruation.

Well, that's just great.

You hear that, Ed?

Bears. Now you're putting

the whole station in jeopardy.

I will say one thing for her, Ed,

she does have a nice, big old behind.

I'd like to put some barbecue sauce

on that butt

and just bite, bite, bite, bite,

munch, munch, munch!

Stop it! Oh, jeez.

Look at the full-moon butt!

Champ! Champ! Champ, Champ!

Mr. Harken, I was just wondering

if you knew

when my office would be ready.

Well, that might take some time.

For now, why don't you just

grab a desk in the bullpen?

You can use my office!

Then afterwards

maybe we can go to lunch!

Lower your voice, Ron.

All right. Thank you, Mr. Harken.

I'll go get my desk set up.

Oh, she is a saucy mama!

I mean, I would...

Here we go again.

Every station it"s the same.

Women ask me how I put up with it.

Well, the truth is,

I don"t really have a choice.

This is definitely a man"s world.

But while they"re laughing

and grab-assing,

l"m chasing down leads

and practicing my non-regional diction.

Because the only way to win

is to be the best.

The very best.

Touchy situation.

I think the best thing to do

with this Corningstone,

to keep her in line, is bed her quick.

That behind is driving me ioco!

I'm like a night wolf.

Guys, take it easy. Just take it easy!

- She's got feelings, too.

- Oh, my God!

Listen to Burgundy.

He's gone soft on us,

like some schoolboy b*tch.

You sound like a gay.

Hey! Come on!

It's me, Papa Burgundy, all right?

As far as I'm concerned,

Corningstone's fair game.

Let the games begin!

There he is. There he is.

I'm very aroused.

What's this?

Well, well, well.

Ron Burgundy

and the Channel 4 News Team.

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