American Splendor Page #3

Frank, l need a price check.

Man, old jewish ladies will argue forever

with a cashier about anything.

These glasses....

You get behind them in line

and you're gonna wait forever.

...because l couldn't carry 1 2. So today....

l'm a yid myself...

and women in my family are like that,

but l never got used to it.

l mean, l may be cheap,

but l got limits, man.

Let me explain one more time.

These glasses are six for $2....

Wake up! Your whole life's

getting eaten away with this kind of crap.

What kind of existence is this?

ls this all a working stiff

like you can expect?

You gonna suffer in silence for the rest

of your life, or are you gonna make a mark?

Okay, l have the money right here.

Even money, $1 .50.

You don't even have to

open the cash register.

Even change. And, dear....

Oh, sh*t!

Ever since l read your stuff, man,

l've been thinking...

l can write comic book stories...

that are different from anything

that's been done.

l figure the guys who are doing

animal comics...

and superhero stuff, they're really limited.

Because they got to try to appeal to kids.

And underground stuff like yours

has been really subversive...

and it's opened things up politically...

but there's still plenty more

to be done with them, too.

Pass the ketchup.

The words, the pictures,

they could be more of an art form.

You know, like those French movies...

or De Sica over in ltaly.

So, anyway, l tried....

l tried writing some stuff about real life...

stuff that the everyman's got to deal with.

These are all about you?

Yeah.

You've turned yourself into a comic hero.

Sort of, but there's no idealized sh*t.

There's no phony bullshit.

This is the real thing, man.

You know, ordinary life

is pretty complex stuff.

These are really...

good.

Really, you think so?

Yeah, this is great stuff. l dig it.

Can l take them home and illustrate them?

You'd really do that for me, man?

That would be great because

l can't even draw a straight line, Bob.

What's up with your voice, Harv?

All of a sudden, you sound fine.

l don't know, man. l guess you cured me.

That Bonnie, her legs go forever.

How smart is she?

l don't know. l guess she's about average.

Average? Hey, man, average is dumb.

So what if she's dumb? l don't care.

''Hey, man, average is dumb.''

F*** that. That's all stories by yours truly.

-Hot off the presses?

-That's right.

We have a regular Hemingway here.

No way, l don't go in

for any of that macho crap.

l didn't know you could draw.

No, l don't draw, doc. l write the stories.

-Harvey, am l in here?

-You're in there, all right? Take it easy.

A buddy of mine and some of his friends

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