INT. PASTELS RESTAURANT- NIGHT
An insanely expensive restaurant on the Upper East Side.
The decor is a mixture of chi-chi and rustic, with swagged
silk curtains, handwritten menus and pale pink tablecloths
decorated with arrangements of moss, twigs and hideous
exotic flowers. The clientele is young, wealthy and
confident, dressed in the height of late-eighties style:
pouffy Lacroix dresses, slinky Alaïa, Armani power suits.
CLOSE-UP on a WAITER reading out the specials.
With goat cheese profiteroles and I also have an arugula
Caesar salad. For entrées tonight I have a swordfish
meatloaf with onion marmalade, a rare-roasted partridge
breast in raspberry coulis with a sorrel timbale...
Huge white porcelain plates descend on very pale pink linen
table cloths. Each of the entrees is a rectangle about four
inches square and look exactly alike.
CLOSE-UP on various diners as we hear fragments of
conversation. "Is that Charlie Sheen over there?" "Excuse
me? I ordered cactus pear sorbet."
And grilled free-range rabbit with herbed French fries. Our
pasta tonight is a squid ravioli in a lemon grass broth...
CLOSE-UP on porcelain plates containing elaborate
perpendicular desserts descending on another table.
PATRICK BATEMAN, TIMOTHY PRICE, CRAIG MCDERMOTT and DAVID
VAN PATTEN are at a table set for four. They are all wearing
expensively cut suits and suspenders and have slicked-back
hair. Van Patten wears horn-rimmed glasses.
The camera moves in on Bateman as his narration begins:
We're sitting in Pastels, this nouvelle Northern California
place on the Upper East Side.
The Waiter sets down plates containing tiny, elaborately
decorated starters. As he does so we hear Bateman's
description of each of the men at the table.
You'll notice that my friends and I all look and behave in
a remarkably similar fashion, but there are subtle differences
between us. McDermott is the biggest asshole. Van
Patten is the yes man. Price is the most wired. I'm the
best looking. We all have light tans. Right now I'm in a
bad mood because this is not a good table, and Van Patten
keeps asking dumb, obvious questions about how to dress .
What are the rules for a sweater vest?
What do you mean?
Well, is it strictly informal-
Or can it be worn with a suit?
With discreet pinstripes you should wear a subdued blue or
charcoal gray vest. A plaid suit would cal I for a bolder
But avoid matching the vest's pattern with your socks or
tie. Wearing argyle socks with an argyle vest will look
You think so?
You'll look like you consciously worked for the look.
Good point. Excuse me, gentlemen.
Van Patten leaves the table. As he does so, a busboy
discreetly removes their largely untouched plates.
Van Patten looks puffy. Has he stopped working out?
It looks that way, doesn't it?
(Staring at retreating waiter)
Did he just take our plates away?
He took them away because the portions are so small he
probably thought we were finished. God, I hate this place.
This is a chicks' restaurant. Why aren't we at Dorsia?
Because Bateman won't give the maitre d' head.
Bateman throws a swizzle stick at him.
McDermott scans the room, settling on a handsome young man
with slicked-back hair and horn-rimmed glasses.
Is that Reed Robinson over there?
Are you freebasing or what? That's not Robinson.