American High School

Synopsis: "American High School," a romantic comedy, is centered on two people who marry young and contend with the consequences of "bad" actions. Moreover, it is a story about a young, frightened girl, Gwen Adams who tries to break away from her father, find peace with her husband, and find peace within. In a world that expects everything from her, being herself was the last thing on her mind. When pushed to the breaking point, she discovers her own self-worth. But is it too late?
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Sean Patrick Cannon
Production: Anchor Bay Entertainment
86 min

Man imitating James Brown:


I say ummmm-ahh!

Good afternoon, Pussycats!

I say good afternoon, Pussycats!

I am here to introduce... Ha ha... best friend

and your captain...

Jonny Awesome!

Thank you, Matt.

What the f*ck is up,

American High School?


#Ain't this the last time #

#I can feel like you #

#Well, you go from

town to town #

#And everybody knows

who you are... #


Yes! Whoo! Awesome.

#Mmm, how do you do? #

#How do you do? #

All right, guys. Ahem.

Unfortunately, we have to

put a pause to the fun for a moment...

...and bring up... You know her

as the boring and the bland...

...and the ordinary...

...and incredibly

unhook-up-able-with... Al...

- Er...

- Unhookupable?

Yeah, she's... Okay,

let's bring up Gwen Adams.

Get up here!

Man, is she ordinary?

Soaky Gwen.

I'm just kidding.

Get up here.

She's a good f*ck too, by the way.

Ha ha!

There you go.

Thank you.

I would...

- This must be really difficult for you.

- ...Like...

- Wow. You're definitely...

- Boy:
You suck!



He's a dick!

I mean, if this was MySpace,

Tom wouldn't even be your friend.

Boy #2:

Fucking whore and slut!

Oh yes, sir!

Ha ha ha ha!

Awesome. Whoo!

That's me,

and it's pretty safe to say...

...that I am incredibly unpopular.

But it's not my fault, though.

There are plenty of

contributing loser factors.

For starters, instead of having a cool

dad who lets my girlfriends sleep over... dad just tries to sleep with them.

He used to be an actor.

He made a ton of money...

...on the hit '80s TV show,

"Coast Watch"

...and a lot of Japanese

action flicks.

It'd be nice to have a strong older

brother to look up to.

Maybe this'll kill me.

Too bad I don't.

Don't even ask where

my mom is.

Having the coolest boyfriend

in school is usually a bonus.

Yeah, not when you marry him.

We'll get to that later.

Girl singing:

#What we did right... #

My husband's an exhibitionist...

...and made it his mission to have

sex with me... every landmark in school.

We've never been caught.

Lastly, this... Hilary Weiss!

Hilary is a devil with a vagina.

Hey, Holden.

She wanted Holden

but he wanted me, so I married him.

I want you to take me

to dinner.

She's been trying to steal

my boyfriend since the third grade.

We hate each other,

but I got the man.

I'm running for prom queen... beat out Hilary.

Not like I really care about

that kind of stuff obviously.

But I want to be the one

personally responsible...

...for bringing down Satan.


Oh, and I'm 10 days

late on my period.

Ahh, late for school.

Gotta go.

#Everyone is always

on the go... #


Check this out...


Jonny and Matt.

I uploaded a video

of myself onto YouTube...

...shirtless and flexing.

Mad views already, bro.

- Mad views?

- Mad views.

- Nice.

- We're awesome.

So awesome!

They hold the world record

in awesomeness...

...whatever that means.

- Awesome. You got a lighter?

- No.

Oh, here comes Dixie,

Hilary and Trixie.

Together they've slept

with the entire school...


You're a chauvinist pig!

Hey, Holden.

How about you and I

have a little dance party...

God, she's such

an idiot!

If there was an award

for fewest brain cells...

...she'd be undefeated.


- Cat fight!

- Awesome.

"Ooh, I'm gonna save the day.

I'm gonna pull her away. "

- Bye, Holden.

- Bye, little scaredy cat.

Walk away, walk away.

What the f*ck is

wrong with those two?

Who the f*ck gets married

in high school?

It's all right.

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Sean Patrick Cannon

Sean Patrick Cannon (born December 31, 1981) is an American film director and screenwriter based in Sherman Oaks, California, best known for the film American High School. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "American High School" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 17 Apr. 2021. <>.

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