Along Came Jones

Tall and skinny, mean tempered

and extra fast with gun.

Travels with half-wit uncle

called Uncle Roscoe something.

Round and round we're goin'

Round and round, Old Joe Clarke

And bye-bye, Lucy Long

Old Joe Clarke, he had a wife

She was seven feet tall

She slept with her head in the kitchen

And her big feet in the hall

I wished I had a sweetheart

I'd put her on the shelf

And every time she'd grin at me

I'd get up there myself

Round and round...

Melody, how many verses

you say there was to that song?

About 100, I reckon.

- 100.

- But I only know about 90 of em.

Bye-bye, Lucy Long

Round and round, Old Joe Clarke

Round and round we're goin'...

Melody, what is it?

Some cow town, it looks like.

How come here?

I thought there wasn't any till Hot Creek.

- I don't know, unless...

- Unless what?

George, you recollect that fork in the road

500 miles back, we turned right?

I just remembered we should have turned left.

It don't surprise me none.

A cowhand that goes in for breaking horses,

he's been hit

in the seat of the pants so many times,

he ain't got any brains any more,

just oatmeal in his head.

I wished I was a big, red apple

Hanging on a tree

And every pretty girl that come along

Would take a bite out of me

Round and round, Old Joe Clarke

Round and round we're goin'

Round and round, Old Joe Clarke

Bye-bye, Lucy Long

- Howdy, friend.

- Howdy.

- Where are we, old-timer?

- This here's Payneville.

Painful? What's painful?

- This here is.

- You mean generally or is this personal?

It's a bad sign when the first fella you meet

in a town is some kind of hobgoblin.

Don't go far. I don't aim to be drinking

for more than five or six hours.

- Is that him?

- Yes, I think so.

Round and round, Old Joe Clarke

Round and round we're goin'

Round and round, Old Joe Clarke

Bye-bye, Lucy Long

I guess she's got as much right

to get thirsty as a man.

- Look. She's coming out.

- Just look at that walk.

Very nice.

Very nice.

- No, Ira. Don't.

- Let go of me.

No, look.

I didn't mean nothin'.

I didn't know.

All right. From now on, don't go

making remarks about other men's girls.

Yes, sir.

No, no, sir. No.

- What's the matter with you?

- Nothing, seor

You want something maybe, please?

Give me some of them.

Tomates?

- Open em. I'll eat em here.

- S seor

Again.

Don't try to draw with him.

If you do, you're dead.

- Did he see me?

- No.

I thought he did.

He'll cross back over to get his horse.

We pushed a thousand head of cattle out there,

me and my partner, him and me.

What's more, you fuzzy-faced apes, my name

ain't Roscoe and I ain't nobody's uncle.

The next one that calls me so

will get down on the floor.

Don't look for me back, either.

I will invest my money

where at least one man ain't a lunatic.

- Drunk already?

- Let's get outta this place.

It's a spook town.

The more I see, the more I don't like it.

- They do something?

- No, outside of calling me their uncle.

It's their attitude. They're... disrespectful.

George, you take gettin' used to.

You don't make the right impression.

- You ought to know that by now.

- Ought I?

You walk in someplace where nobody don't

know you, you already got that dumb look.

You ask some fool question any papoose

could answer, like, "Where am I?"

You ain't immediately nominated for governor.

You gotta walk in kinda... unsmiling.

Unsmiling?

Look and act like you're somebody, like you can

take care of yourself no matter what happens.

- Pretty soon you are somebody.

- That what you done?

I ain't said more than two words in this town

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