Almost Christmas Page #8

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Uncle Lonnie!

That's what it's all about!

Ding, ding, ding-

Ding, ding, ding-

Good job, Uncle Lonnie!

Good job! You actually did it!

I did not let the Grinches

ruin Christmas for you.

Uncle Lonnie!

Uncle Lonnie!

That's not good.

Oh! Sh*t!

Sh*t!

Oh, sh*t!

Ho-ho-ho!

Uncle Lonnie killed Santa!

- Hold it! Hold it!

- Mommy!

Did you get that?

I just posted it.

- Good.

- Mommy!

Don't tell Cheryl.

Do not tell Cheryl, okay?

Uncle Lonnie has it, okay?

Sh*t!

My gosh!

Sh*t!

Is he still breathing?

We should take a selfie.

Don't tell Cheryl.

Hmm.

You could tell me

where the tin is.

Thought I heard somebody

down here.

Hey, sweetheart.

Hey.

HEY-

God, she had the best smile.

Yeah, she had the best everything.

It's good to have you

home. Yeah.

I wish you and Cheryl

were getting along better.

Yeah.

Been that way

since we were kids.

I don't know, I mean, I guess even in

family sometimes people just don't fit.

You should have seen how I used

to fight with my big brother.

I know you're not trying to make

Mom's sweet potato pie, are you?

There's never been a Meyers

Christmas without it.

And if I'm going to make it,

I'm going to make it right.

The top five in the

draft were supposed to be a lock.

However, now that doctors

have cleared Evan Meyers

to play in

the upcoming bowl game,

that changes everything, everybody.

That changes everything!

He may be naughty, but the

boy's game is real nice.

Poetic injustice, good morning.

Look. It's the accident child

in his natural habitat.

He's unfunny and, therefore,

a liability to the pride.

It's a shame, he won't make it.

I was not an accident.

Everyone has their fourth child

in their 50s. That's common.

You better not

shrink from the spotlight.

Merry Christmas, young man.

Merry Christmas.

Hey. Evan.

You locked me out.

What?

You locked me out!

What? I can't hear you.

What happened?

Evan, quit playing.

I am freezing out here,

and I'm in my underwear.

Oh! I'm sorry.

It must have been an accident.

Evan. Evan!

I'm melting!

Evan! Evan!

Happy Kwanzaa, Mrs. Olakanday.

Mmm-hmm.

Evan! Evan! Evan!

Okay.

Oh!

No!

Evan, come on. Evan?

Come on. Evan? Evan! I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

You're not an accident.

Evan, don't be like this.

Don't be like this.

God does not like ugly, Evan.

Evan, please.

Please, please. Come on!

Twigs. You need some help?

No, I'm fine.

Is there a reason you have a

tattoo that says "sesame chicken"?

It does not say

"sesame chicken," okay?

If you were more cultured,

you would know that it says

"Unbreakable" in Mandarin.

Well, I actually took Mandarin

for a semester in college,

I'm pretty sure it says

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