All Through the House Page #4

are addressed to Jaime.

Can you believe it?

No one in their right mind

would do something like this.

I don't know.

Maybe it makes her feel better.

Or maybe she's just

cuckoo for cocoa puffs.

- [Laughing] -Is it wrong for

her to hold onto the hope

that Jaime might

come back some day?

Come back?

I thought she was killed.

Well, there have been

all kinds of crazy rumors.

Who knows what really happened.

I know what happened.

I was in kindergarten

and Jonathan Curtis

who used to live down

this very street,

said she was snatched

right out of her bed

in the middle of the night.

And that's not all.

He said he knows

where she was taken.

That she was taken by some

hideously deformed

creature named Krampus.

What the hell is that?

Don't listen to her.

Krampus is just an urban legend.

That's what you think.

Krampus is basically

like Santa Claus,

but just the exact opposite.

He kidnaps and tortures

little children

who misbehave

during Christmas season.

As if Santa

wasn't creepy enough.

Hey, I was only five f***ing years

old when he told me that story.

He scared the sh*t out of me.

I had nightmares

for days ever since.

Jonathan and Curtis

destroyed my childhood.

Strange how you lost your

virginity to him in high school.

I know, right?

[Shower running]

Honey?

Thanks for leaving

the window open, sweetie.

It's not cold or anything.

Babe.

Are you gonna be feeling

frisky when you get out?

Because once I start reading...

Fine by me.

[Gasps]

[Thumping]

Ahh!

Ugh!

[Gasping]

Oh, no, god!

No, no!

No!

No, please!

Ahh!

[Music playing on radio]

... of the dear

savior's birth...

babe, you're totally

missing out on this shower.

It's really warm.

And I'm really wet.

...he appeared

and the soul felt its worth

babe.

Did you hear me?

A thrill of hope

the weary world rejoices

for yonder breaks

a new and glorious morn...

are you feeling

frisky tonight, babe?

Fall on your knees...

jeez.

Hello, babe.

What the f***?

Mandy!

[Screaming]

[Whimpers, shouts]

[Whimpers]

[Gurgles]

[Rachel] Haven't you ever had

a strange collection before?

Collections are just a waste

of time and money.

Only boring people

who have nothing better to do

- collect things.

- Really?

What about your collection

of beanie babies and stds?

[Laughs]

If I'm gonna survive this night,

I'm gonna need

something better to sip on

than old lady

watered-down eggnog.

You could run down

to the shop 'n' stop.

You have about ten minutes

until 12 o'clock.

Okay.

I have to try this dress on.

It's beautiful.

I don't think

that's a good idea.

I think it's a great idea.

This is going on Facebook.

I thought you were in a hurry.

Rate this script:4.3 / 3 votes