All Roads Lead to Rome

1

Summer.

Honey.

You may approach the bench.

We're nearly there.

Do you want the hummus

sandwich I made you?

I told you I'm not hungry.

It's vegan.

Ladies and gentlemen,

we expect to land

in about 15 minutes.

Thank you for flying

with Alitalia,

and we hope to see you

again in the near future

onboard our flights.

Arrivederci.

Summer, look.

Wait. They have geological

formations in Europe, too?

Look, honey, there's nothing

you can do for him

right now, ok?

So in the meantime,

you have 2 weeks

to just simply relax.

And I'm telling you,

you're gonna love this country,

the people, the food,

the gelato.

I should be by Tyler's side

fighting for his rights,

and you're trying to buy

me off with ice cream?

This is about injustice.

There's injustice here,

too, trust me.

Oh, I'm pleased.

No, seriously, this country

is, like, famously corrupt.

They have fascism,

social inequality.

People are eating

out of garbage cans.

I thought you said

the food was good.

It is. It... it's so good

that people are eating it

out of the garbage cans.

All I know is

that when I was your age,

I loved being here.

When you were my age,

you were a virgin

with a Prozac dependency.

That's not true.

Yeah, I've seen the photos

of the zits and the braces.

That was junior high school.

And actually, when I was here,

I had a boyfriend,

and he was very handsome.

I got it. I got it. Thank you.

Check the tag. The tag.

Check the tag.

That's mine.

Oh. Hey.

Oh, is this yours?

Yes. I'm sorry.

Looks... take it.

Ok. Looks like my old bag.

Excuse me. It looks

like my old one.

Sorry.

Come on, little duck.

Signorina, Scusi. Per Favore.

Oh, you've gotta be kidding me.

Can I have your

passport, please?

Sure.

Purpose of visit?

I'm being kidnapped...

We're on vacation.

By my own mother.

She's making a joke.

Wait a second, please.

Jesus, summer.

Mm?

Take your glasses off.

Yeah?

Do you have any criminal record?

N-no, and she's not about to

get one right now, either.

You just lied

to an agent of the law.

It's a juvenile record.

It's in the process

of being expunged,

and it's really just an

administrative thing now.

You told an untruth.

Well, technically I did not.

Ah. See?

Ah, it's so relaxing in Italy.

People are so laid-back.

Ah, Buongiorno.

Buongiorno. Ciao.

Hello. I have a...

Una... una reservazione.

Just have to...

Find the number.

But I know it's under the name Mrs.

Falk.

Marg... well, Maggie.

Yes. Maggie.

I will need

the reservation number.

Yes, but I also have the, um...

That's the credit card

that I booked on.

I'm sorry.

No number, no booking.

Come on. What's a little...

What's a little number

between Amici, huh?

I'm sure you can scrounge up

a little convertible,

you know, um...

Una fiat Bella.

Tutto e Bellissima.

I'm sorry.

That is the least

Bellissima car ever.

That is antique Bellissima.

It's eighties.

You love the eighties.

The eighties revival

is totally over.

Well, can't you

like it ironically

or whatever it is you kids do?

The irony revival

is totally over, too.

You have to like things

sincerely now.

Mm.

I like it sincerely.

On the road, just the two of us,

sisters doing it for ourselves.

Ah, seriously.

"Thelma and Louise."

Thelma and Louise drove off a

cliff and killed themselves.

Oh! God!

Sorry.

Yep, super relaxed here.

Unlike dad's new pile

in the Hamptons,

where I should

totally be instead.

Last time you stayed with him,

he took you out drinking.

I try to see him taking me

as an act of trust.

Oh, god. Please don't tell me

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