All Out Dysfunktion! Page #6

is down the hallway,

but I was admiring your, uh, uh,

unique film antiquities

and glorious memorabilia.

You know, you have

a lot of space here.

You know, you could probably

milk a cow.

It's nice.

Yeah, my old man's

a cinematographer.

I'm lactose intolerant.

But, you know what,

let's cut out this first date

chitchat bullshit.

What the f***

are you doing in here?

Okay, pashu.

I'm angry and I'm pissed

and I'm wanting

to hurt that director,

and I know you had some things

in your room

and I'm looking for something

to beat him with.

You know what happened

to the last person

that went rummaging around

through my stuff?

Let's just say...

I'm still on medication.

Do you know why

they call me gator, ranjit?

It's because I'm hard to tame.

Please, pashu, no, no.

Oh, man!

Got you!

Oh, you should see

your face right now.

I wish you could.

It is so stupid-looking.

You look like a hostage.

You look like

you're really mad at me.

And you look stupid.

Crazy f***ing pashu.

You're awesome, dude.

You're amazing.

You're like a f***ing

curry dahmer.

- Yes.

- -Quiet on the set!

You know what?

I'm sorry. Yep, you got it.

Shh, listen.

Don't worry about that guy.

- Okay?

You proved your point with him.

I never knew

you had so much heart.

Come in here.

Get over here.

Yes, booby traps everywhere.

There's no treading

in gator's house.

You are completely unhinged.

You... you are a sociopath.

No, I'm just kidding.

Don't hurt me, please.

Listen, there's a lot of girls

getting d*cks slapped

on their foreheads out there.

I want to see

what I can get on this guy.

Put it on the Internet later.

Try and make us some money.

Make yourself at home.

You break it, you buy it.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Look at me. Look at me.

I am coming! I am coming!

This is why they call me

the black rhino!

- This is for Botswana!

Cut! God damn it, cut!

That's the f***ing money shot.

Holy dick roll.

What the f*** did you eat?

There he is.

Pleasure, I don't give

a hootenanny

what you do

in your own damn room,

but the living room

is community property.

- Hi, ma'am. -Don't you ma'am me.

- I run this house.

So, you better get

your fresh-out-of-film-school

wish-you-had-a-better-job

stuck-in-a-porn

peacock feathers

the hell out of my way.

It's all good. This is gonna

be a big movie for me.

Yesterday you said you were

doing a photo shoot,

not shooting a goddamn porn.

I'm writing you up.

I'm telling Harold.

- Now, where is he?

- He is the guy.

Now, you listen here,

you two-bit crackerjack.

I like nothing more

than some good,

old huffin' and puffin',

so I support your industry,

but what i will not support

is your two-inch penis

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