All American Christmas Carol

[ "JINGLE BELLS" PLAYS ] [ ROCKABILLY PLAYS ] - HERE COMES CHRISTMAS,

LOTS OF TOYS COME ON NOW,

MAKE SOME NOISE CHRISTMAS TREES

AND THE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS COME ON, BABY, HOLD ME TIGHT I GOT YOU

UNDER THE MISTLETOE AND HERE COMES CHRISTMAS,

A-DON'T LET GO HERE COMES CHRISTMAS,

DON'T LET GO HERE COMES CHRISTMAS,

SANTA'S SLEIGH RUDY IN FRON TO LIGHT THE WAY I NEED MORE TIME

TO GET IT DONE I NEED MORE TIME

FOR CHRISTMAS FUN I'M ALL READY

FOR THE CHRISTMAS SNOW AND HERE COMES CHRISTMAS,

A-DON'T LET GO AND HERE COMES CHRISTMAS,

A-DON'T LET GO MAMAS AND PAPAS

AND KIDS AND DOGS TO FIND A PLACE WHERE THEY

WAIT FOR CHRISTMAS LOGS SANTA, PLEASE HURRY NOW,

DON'T BE LATE WHOA! IT'S A SPECIAL DATE HEY [ GUITAR SOLO ] HERE COMES CHRISTMAS,

TIME TO EAT THAT TURKEY AND GRAVY

GONNA BE SO SWEET LOOK AT THE PRESENTS

UNDERNEATH THE TREE I WISH EVERYONE

WAS AS LUCKY AS ME A CHRISTMAS ANGEL

WANTS US TO KNOW THAT HERE COMES CHRISTMAS,

A-DON'T LET GO HERE COMES CHRISTMAS,

DON'T LET GO YOUR MAMAS AND PAPAS

AND KIDS AND DOGS TO FIND A PLACE WHERE THEY

WAIT FOR CHRISTMAS LOGS SANTA, PLEASE HURRY NOW,

AND DON'T BE LATE WHOA! IT'S A SPECIAL DATE HERE COMES CHRISTMAS,

LOTS OF TOYS A-COME ON NOW,

AND MAKE SOME NOISE THE CHRISTMAS TREES

AND THE CHRISTMAS SIGHTS A-COME ON, BABY,

NOW A-HOLD ME TIGHT I GOT YOU

UNDER THE MISTLETOE A-HERE COMES CHRISTMAS,

A-DON'T LET GO I'M ALL READY

FOR THE CHRISTMAS SNOW A-HERE COMES CHRISTMAS,

A-DON'T LET GO THE CHRISTMAS ANGEL

WANTS US ALL TO KNOW YEAH! THAT HERE COMES CHRISTMAS A-HERE COMES CHRISTMAS YEAH! YEAH COME ON, SANTA [ BELL JINGLES ] [ COIN CLINKS ] [ BELL JINGLES ] [ BABY CRIES ] -THAT IS CINDY WEGMAN. [ SIGHS ] JUST LOOK AT HER -- THREE KIDS,

THREE DIFFERENT DADDIES... AND BARELY A PENNY TO HER NAME. SHE'S NEVER GONNA MAKE SOMETHING

OF HERSELF. SHE'S GONNA GO

RIGHT IN THE DUMPER. -MM-HMM. -LET'S FIND SOME CONTOUR TO MAKE

YOUR FACE LOOK SMALLER. [ BABY COOING ] -[ CHUCKLES SOFTLY ] DOODLE, LOOK AT THIS CRAP. CHRISTMAS -- IT'S FOR SUCKERS. [ CRASH ] WHOA. -[ SIGHS ] ARE YOU GONNA

CONTROL YOUR KID? -SKOAL, DON'T GO

BREAKING STUFF, SWEETIE! COME ON! GEEZ. [ CRASH ] -AH! CINDY WEGMAN. I SEE YOU POPPED OU ANOTHER ONE. [ CHUCKLES ] -YOU SLUMMING

AT THE DOLLAR KING AGAIN? -DOLLAR KING IS

ABOUT THE LAST PLACE YOU CAN GO TO GET YOUR HAIR DONE

SINCE YOUR MOM PASSED. YOU EVER THINK ABOUT PICKING UP

THE SCISSORS AGAIN? -NO. -I THINK YOU SHOULD

REOPEN GIRL CURL... EVEN IF IT'S JUS FOR CHRISTMAS. -WORK IS FOR SUCKERS. -AAH! HMM.

WAS THAT ONE OF YOURS? -HEY. KIDS. [ CHUCKLES ]

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? -GUESS YOU DO HAIR BETTER

THAN YOU RAISE KIDS. -[ SIGHS ] I'M NOT TRYING TO TELL YOU HOW

TO LIVE YOUR LIFE, WAYNE. I'M JUST GIVING YOU

VALUABLE ADVICE -- FOR FREE! -I KNOW, MR. WINK. I JUST NEED A LITTLE MORE

ADVANCE ON MY PAYCHECK. BEING THAT IT'S CHRISTMAS,

THESE KIDS NEED THINGS. -THESE AREN'T EVEN YOUR KIDS! I MEAN, SHE'S GOT LIKE

THREE OR FOUR OF THEM ALL FROM DIFFERENT DADDIES. CINDY WEGMAN IS A HIT AND RUN -- YOU HIT IT...

AND THEN YOU RUN. YOU GOT A FUTURE, BOY. DON'T END UP BEING

THE DUM-DUM DADDY THAT WINDS UP PAYING

FOR HER MISTAKES. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? -I DO. THANK YOU, SIR. SO, CAN I HAVE THE ADVANCE? -ARE YOU JUST... WHEN I'M TALKING... NO! -[SIGHS]

-GET OUT! -[ SIGHS ] -GET OUT! -OHH. [ SMACKS GLASS ] -YOU MISSED IT, MOM. -GO TELL SOME SUCKER YOU HAVEN' EATEN SINCE TUESDAY. -EXCUSE ME, MA'AM. CAN I HAVE SOME MONEY

TO BUY SOME FOOD? IT'S CHRISTMAS. -HERE WE GO, DEAR. -YES! MY TURN. -OH. GOOD JOB. OKAY. ALL RIGHT. MOMMY'S GONNA WIN

THEM SCRATCHERS, READY? YOU KNOW WHAT? SCREW CHRISTMAS. NOBODY IS GETTING ANYTHING

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