All About the Benjamins
Sh*t!
Bail enforcement! Lil J,|don't you f***in' move!
Listen, I can explain, OK?|Let me explain it!
What the hell you watchin'?!|Sit down!
OK. I was comin' down|to see y'all today, OK?
I called my mom to|give me a f***in' lift...
...'cause my bike broke down!
Yeah, tell it to Martinez!
He's used to hearin' that bullshit.
On your feet.|Come on.
Hands on your head.
Don't get gitchy.|Relax.
How about I just give you|a little somethin', huh?
A little somethin' to|make this go away, maybe?
Come on, Tyson.|F***in' bounty hunters...
...don't make no real cheese,|anyway, do ya?
Get on the f***ing--
You ain't got no money,|'cause if you did...
...you wouldn't live in a trailer park.
I ain't goin' back to f***in' jail.
Oh, yeah. You goin'.
Baby!
Get off of my motherfuckin' boyfriend!
- Get out of my house!|- Oh, sh*t!
Oh, sh*t!
You OK, baby?|Get his ass, baby, get him!
Shoot that motherf***er!
Blast him!|Blast that motherf***er!
I'll be goddamned!
Crazy ho!
Sh*t!
Got your ass now!|Uh-huh, motherf***er!
Hands behind your back!
You're goin' to f***in' jail!
Where is he?
I took him to County.
County?! I was supposed|to take him to County.
You were supposed to take him to County?
Yeah.
I didn't hear that part.
Bucum, why is it every time|I send you out on a job...
...there are always gunshots reported?
Why is that?
Because people don't mind|their own f***in' business.
If they stay outta mine's...
...you wouldn't hear|gunshots reported.
Oh, that's very funny.
Sorry if I forgot to laugh...
...but I've been on the phone|for an hour...
...and 27 minutes straight|with Miami P.D...
- ...cleanin' up your sh*t.|- And?
What you want me to do?|Start knockin' on the door?
"Hey, Martinez wanna holler at you.
Come with me."
Or do you want me to|go in and get 'em?
Oh, you get 'em.|It's just how you get 'em.
Get you when I come out.
- Got it.|- I'm talkin' to you!
You walkin' away from me?
Yeah. I've got to find|the sports section.
Look at this, huh?
It's my second pack|of cigarettes this morning...
...and I just quit today.
Jesus Christ. Why do I|even bother with this guy?
Hey, Pam, what's shakin'?
Nothin' but ass.
Did the Heat beat the Knicks last night?
The Heat lost by one point.
I put your little fish|on your desk over there.
I heard you almost got shot again today.
Almost don't count.
You should have took me with you.
I could have had your back.
- Maybe next time.|- Right.
Well, anyway, next time you decide...
...you want to spend $600 on a fish...
...why don't you just|send me to St. Thomas...
...and I can catch|his little ass for you.
Change, please.
Don't make me mess up my nails.
Thank you, Pam.
It's a little short.
You know what you need,|Bucum? A partner.
Somebody to help you|apprehend these guys...
...without shots being|fired all the time.
Well, stop bullshittin'|and put me on the payroll!
I can get some real bonds, maybe|I can get a f***in' Tonto.
You know I can't insure you.|You're too high a risk.
I don't see nobody else in here...
...bringin' Lil J in,|so insured or not...
...I'm the best nigga you got,|so can I at least get paid?
Little more grip,|little less lip.
You know what?
At these prices, man,|I might have to...
...go in business for myself.
Bucum P.I. firm ain't soundin'|too bad right about now.
Ain't that right, Pam?
Yep...or you could|win the lottery.
You know, it's up to|$60 million right now.
And we got a pool goin'|in my apartment complex.
I can get you in on it.
Black people don't win that sh*t.
You either gotta be old or Puerto Rican.
Here's your next rabbit.
He went shy on us four days ago.
Reggie Wright?!
I done caught this motherf***er,|like, three times already!
This nigga go to jail|more than Robert Downey Jr.
What'd he do this time, man?
Same charge.|Petty con man stuff.
He just never goes to court.
Oh, that's a $35,000|bond you got there...
...which means you get a whole $3,500.
Oh, damn. Let me put|that new Bentley...
...I was lookin' at on layaway.
Bucum, I don't know what|you're lookin' for here...
...so you're gonna have to hit|the lottery with Pam over there...
...or stop buying $600 f***in' fish...
...that are gonna die|in a week anyway...
...and maybe you can put that|Bentley on layaway, huh?
You know what, Martinez?|F*** what you're talking about.
It's a whole lot of money out there.
All I gotta do is put my name on it.
Fifty bucks'll get you sixty million.
Thank you, Pam.
When I quit,|you gonna miss me.
Come on, Zo.|I hate this f***in' job.
You know what?|I'm gonna be where I'm at.
There's somebody looking at us.
Oh, are these the ones|we're lookin' for?
I believe so, but I left|my glasses at home.
Maybe I can find somebody who--
What the hell are you|lookin' at, dipshit?
Why don't you let us shop in peace?
Who you two little Spice Girls|think y'all talkin' to?
- You!|- You!
Y'all followin' me around|this damn store...
...you know what I'm sayin'?
I'm gonna get in line before|I have to f*** one of y'all up.
That's right. Gang member.
You go get in line.
Poop dog!
Oh! Good!
Oh, I'm sorry.
Mr. Sheldon, what's happenin'?
How many times am I|gonna have to tell you...
...don't open the potato chips|until you pay for 'em!
You gonna have to tell me that|all the time...
...'cause I like potato chips.
Mr. Sheldon, why you sweatin' me, man?
I come in here all the time.
'Cause you're a nickel|and dime hustler...
...looking for the five-finger discount...
...and I have to keep my eyes on you.
Then you know what? I'm a start|goin' to Dwight's...
...'cause you don't laugh|at my jokes or nothin'.
- Dwight who?|- D'wight around your lip.
No. I'm just kiddin', Mr. Sheldon.
Look, my woman gave me|these numbers to play.
15... 30...
37... 38...
45...
47...
15
30
37
38
45... 47
Just hurry up. I got|customers to serve here.
45... 4--
All right.|How much I owe you?
7.50.
7.50.
It's 50, not 7.50.
Mr. Sheldon, man, I'm gonna|kick your ass one day, man.
I seen you comin' out|of the nursing home...
...the other day. I started to--
I'm gonna quit|comin' in here, man.
- Hater, man!|- Later.
Hey, I seen you at the club...
...pimpin' the other night, there, pimpy.
Oh, excuse me!
Don't let me catch your skinny|ass outside, do you hear me?
You know what?|I just got out of the pen...
...for some sh*t like this.
Come on, come on!
Let me get out. Y'all|smell just like Geritol.
Could y'all move?!
You're still talkin' sh*t, b*tch?
Y'all gonna get me f***in' locked up!
Come on, over here.
How was that, Reggie?
Y'all put a little bit|too much on it that time.
The next time, just cut back|on the bullshit talk.
- That way, the scam'll go smoother.|- Right.
You know I know.|I'm a thief.
Bless you, Reggie.|Thank you so much!
Our check didn't come, and we|needed a few extra things.
That's OK. I love you,|Ms. Steinberg.
What are them for?
These are for when|I need to get my freak on!
Watch yourself!|Shake it fast!
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"All About the Benjamins" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 4 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/all_about_the_benjamins_2484>.
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