All About Steve Page #2

- while my apartment is being fumigated.

- You live with your parents?

Temporarily, yes, I live at home.

But, then again, so do all of you.

So there. Now-

- You don't have a husband, do you?

- Or a boyfriend.

- Kids, come on.

- [Giggling]

[Microphone Feedback]

No. Not-Not at- Not at this time.

Though I have had liaisons.

##[Ballad]

#Soon Yi was a pilot in the nationally known #

#Amazing ladies of the outer ozone #

#She didn't have no kids

She didn't have no time #

#She was a woman ofher word

She was a fighter of crime #

#She looked good in a hat

She had a natural way #

- # With tools and no car #

- Shoot.

- #She went to UCLA#

- No, no, no, no, no.

Hi. I often suffer from

benign positional vertigo.

- Do you mind not driving until I can get my-

- [Coin Clinks]

Okay. Okay. All right.

- [Thuds]

- Ow.

- #And I don't know why life #

- [Dog Growls]

#It seems to be #

#So hard for dreamers #

#Like you and me ##

Mary? How'd it go?

Smashing success.

Or as they say in old Paris,

coup de matre, meaning "masterstroke."

- Okay, I'm gonna go upstairs and, uh, get ready.

- Good.

Oh. So you're going ahead with the date?

[Sighs]

Yes. Of course.

Look how excited I am. Better get going...

if I'm gonna fall in love and get proposed to...

register at Barnes and "Normal"...

have a beautiful wedding

with an accordion band and little, tiny...

plastic bride and groom on top of a cake,

posing like this.

[Chuckles]

I'm gonna go.

I just want her to be happy.

Yeah.

Go out and have some fun.

Mm-hmm. You ever wanna see any grandchildren...

you're gonna have to burn those damn boots.

- [Squeaking]

- Carol, I have a date.

A blind one.

[Groans]

But...

if this Steven is anything better than

excessively hideous...

I think we really should try and make it work.

Because, if society wants me to be normal...

then normal we shall be, right?

Yes.

Oh, and, Carol, I really would appreciate

your support on this too.

And by "support," I don't mean that.

[Squeaking]

- [Mother] Mary?

- [Door Opens]

[Singsongy]

Knock, knock, knock.

Oh. Look at you.

Already have- repeatedly.

Mar. He's hot.

[Whispering] Please don't mean on the inside.

[Clears Throat]

- [Man] I'm a cameraman for CCN-

- [Father] Mm-hmm?

- A news program.

- We don't really watch-

- Work with a guy called Hartman Hughes.

Ever seen him?

- No. Can't say I have, but-

[Mother Clears Throat]

[Clears Throat]

[Both Chuckle]

Hey, Mary. I'm Steve.

[Father Chuckles]

[Whispering]

Carol. Carol, I bring news.

There's been a-

There's been a most unexpected turn of events.

My date is substantially

better looking than one might have predicted.

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