Alfie Page #3

was banging on about yesterday.

Elegant Limousine and Chauffeur.

This is where I make

my reasonably honest living.

Standards of elegance has taken

quite a pounding, wouldnt you say?

I know. Believe me,

its merely a stepping stone.

Currently parked on one

of those stepping stones

is my best mate and future

business partner, Marlon.

Black. Like Lonettes skin...

...which I will never again touch.

Im afraid youre not meeting

my man on top form.

See, Marlons got a problem.

lts called Lonette.

And very recently, it dumped him.

Oh, dear. Come on,

what was it this time?

Three a. m. begging, at her front door.

- Level of inebriation?

- Vomiting.

Right. So let me get this straight.

You were at her front door,

begging and vomiting?

And what,

she wasnt charmed by that?

Alfie? Why is there no Stoli

in car number two?

Ive no idea.

I gotta watch this guy like a hawk.

That little chaps name is Wing.

My boss and owner

of this tragic enterprise.

- Wipe that car good.

- Owner, that is, till me and Marlon

swing a loan and buy it out

from underneath his scrawny...

Hello. You miss bird sh*t.

Wing.

Hes barking mad.

Check out the way he talks

to the little woman.

Shes given him her best years,

cooked his chop suey,

helped with the business, and I bet

at one time he couldnt wait

to rip off her kimono.

And now look at him.

And Im supposed to respect

the institution of marriage?

Thats a great figure, man.

We swing that loan,

cash your IRA, I hock my Vespa...

Were gonna take Wing

by surprise with an offer like this.

I couldve predicted this. See,

Marlon and Lonette have reached

that critical 18-month Where are

we going, what are we doing,

whats happening here? crisis point

that rears its ugly head

in every relationship.

Lonette wanted ring, home, baby.

Marlon wanted another 18 months

to make sure nothing better

was coming his way.

I f***ed up egregiously.

I see youre making the most

of that birthday calendar.

By the time he realized hed made

a mistake and he wanted her back...

- ... it was too late.

- Hey, stranger.

Hey.

Carol.

- Carol. Hi, Carol.

- Hi.

You look wonderful.

So, Carol, well, its nice

to see you again. You be well.

Whats up with that?

Put it this way, the show closed

after one performance only.

- Do I even wanna know why?

- No. Come on,

it would be less than discreet

to tell you why.

Hair on the arms. Seriously.

Long, thick...

What are you talking about?

You dont have hair on your arms?

- Youre looking very lovely tonight.

- Thank you.

Dude, the iron door

has slammed shut, man.

Classic, isnt it?

Now that he cant have her,

he thinks he cant live without her.

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