Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day Page #4

Yeah, it's not official,

but Celia heard from a good source.

It's kind of crazy.

I'm dating the hottest girl in school...

I'm getting crowned at prom,

and once I get my license tomorrow...

I kind of have

everything I've ever wanted.

- Hashtag blessed, you know.

- Wait.

Once you get your license tomorrow?

I'm taking my test after school.

Dad already said it was cool.

You said it was cool?

I said it was doable.

Not cool. I said it was doable.

Okay.

It will be fine. We'll make it.

Okay, guys, I have some news.

Nina said that if the book

launch goes well tomorrow...

you could be looking at the new Vice

President of Lone Hill Press.

Honey, wow!

That's big.

Yeah, it would

be a lot more hours at work...

I already feel like

I live there some days,

but the raise would be nice.

Awesome. I have some news as well.

I got a call today.

I have an interview

for a game design firm.

They're looking for engineers.

- Wait, video games? Really?

- Yeah. Yeah.

Your aerospace engineering

dad might be designing video games.

- That's so cool.

- I know. I know.

The best news of all...

Guess who spoke his first word today?

Trevor.

- No!

- Yes.

What did you say?

What was it?

He said fommy.

- He said fommy?

- Yeah.

- What's that?

- Father-mommy.

I didn't know that was a word.

Wow, we all had pretty big wins today.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, tell me about it.

I had a crap day.

What is that smell?

It's Vegemite.

It's from Australia, and back off!

Easy. You're gonna have

a good day tomorrow.

It's your birthday.

You have friends coming over,

it's gonna be a great party.

Actually, you can forget it,

because I'm canceling my party.

- What are you talking about?

- Why?

Nobody's coming.

They're all going to Philip

Parker's party tomorrow night.

Who is this Philip Parker?

He's a really cool kid

with a hot tub and ADHD.

- I'm gonna call his mom...

- No!

No, no, no.

We're gonna forget about Philip Parker.

Whoever comes to the party comes.

It's gonna be great.

Trust me, nobody is coming.

Elliot Gibson texted pictures of me

in a butt thong to everyone at school.

My best friend

is suddenly best friends with Philip...

because they go to the same

dumb psychopharmacologist.

I didn't get Australia

for my school report...

and I burned down the science lab

with Becky Gibson's lab notes.

- What did you do?

- You burned down the science lab?

Dude, big deal.

So things didn't go your way today.

Go my way?

It was a totally wrecked bad day.

And it's not just today!

It is every single day. Every day!

You don't even care

because your lives are all so perfect!

No, we care. We care, honey.

- What?

- Sweetie.

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