Albatross Page #5

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It's a joint.

Do you want some?

No, thanks.

Where on Earth do you get

hard drugs from?

Are you for real,

Pollyanna?

Can I try it?

Yeah.

It's just a rollie, though.

I just wanted

to see your face.

How come you're not doing

your A-levels?

Surely you want to get out

of here like everyone else.

My dad thinks

you're really clever.

I was doing A-levels.

I was at The Holy Family,

but I got kicked out.

I'm quite pleased actually.

'Cause my mum always said

that being a Conan Doyle

made you special,

and now I get to skip

all that

religious indoctrination

and do something proper.

Did your dad

really say that?

What else did he say?

Nothing.

I hope you don't mind me asking,

but what happened to your mum?

She jumped off the flyover

at Shoreham...

'cause my dad

didn't love her.

That didn't kill her, though.

She squeaked around

in a wheelchair...

for a couple years

after that.

And then when he didn't

come back and save her,

she overdosed

on sleeping pills.

Why didn't he come back?

Where is he?

Dead... disabled, divorced.

F*** knows.

God, Emelia, that's awful.

So is this what your book's

gonna be about?

No.

It's about bestiality.

Emelia?

Do you want to come up

to Oxford with me?

For my interview?

We could go

for a couple of days.

Stay over.

I'll pay.

What, and hang out

with a load of geeks?

F*** that.

I'd rather chew off

my own arm...

and club myself to death

with it.

Uh, sorry.

I was looking for Beth.

Yeah, I can see that.

Looking... long and... hard.

What, is that quits now?

Oh, that's right.

Go back to your

procrast-urbating

I'm done with my answers.

Are you?

No.

Stop cheating.

How can you write

like that?

Well...

I found these miraculous...

clawlike appendages

at the end of my arms,

and they were ideal

for clutching blunt instruments...

such as this, a pencil.

I meant, wouldn't it just be

easier to use your laptop?

I'd be lost without mine.

I don't have a laptop.

I come from

a no-parent family.

We spend most of our money

on gravestones

Ah.

I'm sorry.

Maybe you could use

Posy's computer.

Maybe I could.

I forgive you.

Your shoes are massive.

There you are.

Yep, here I am.

What are you doing here?

I thought you'd finished

for the day.

Um, I was wondering

about Oxford.

Um, and I wondered

if the offer still stands...

for me to come

with you.

I thought you said

you didn't want to come.

Of course I want to come.

You don't have to.

I don't mind.

I'm not bothered.

I want to come.

Well, the offer's

still there.

I'd love you to come.

Wicked.

Cup of tea?

Yeah, great.

What's that?

It's a doggie bag, Granny.

Is it Bonnie's food?

No, Granny, um...

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