Airplane! script
Airplane! (1980)
Synopsis: Airplane! (titled Flying High! in Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Japan and the Philippines) is a 1980 American parody film directed and written by David Zucker, Jim Abrahams, and Jerry Zucker and released by Paramount Pictures. It stars Robert Hays and Julie Hagerty and features Leslie Nielsen, Robert Stack, Lloyd Bridges, Peter Graves, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and Lorna Patterson. The film is a parody of the disaster film genre, particularly the 1957 Paramount film Zero Hour!, from which it borrows the plot and the central characters, as well as many elements from Airport 1975. The film is known for its use of surreal humor and its fast-paced slapstick comedy, including visual and verbal puns and gags.

FADE IN:

EXT. SKY - JUST ABOVE CLOUDS - NIGHT

OMINOUS, THREATENING MUSIC. The upper tail fin of a jet

plane emerges through the cloud layer and PASSES THROUGH the

FRAME like a shark's fin through water. It passes by again

in the opposite direction. MUSIC BUILDS as the fin comes

straight TOWARD the CAMERA, MUSIC SWELLS to CRESCENDO as

entire jet plane lifts out of clouds and passes overhead.

TITLE SLASHES ACROSS SCREEN, "AIRPLANE!"

CREDITS and MUSIC continue over following.

EXT. AIRPORT - NIGHT (STOCK)

ESTABLISHING terminal building.

EXT. TERMINAL BUILDING - PASSENGER LOADING ZONE - NIGHT

Airport bus arrives. Stewardess ELAINE DICKINSON steps off.

CAMERA FOLLOWS Elaine as she walks to terminal building.

P.A. SYSTEM (female v.o.)

The white zone is for immediate loading

and unloading of passengers only. There is

no stopping in the red zone.

P.A. SYSTEM (male v.o.)

The red zone is for immediate loading and

unloading of passengers. There is no

stopping in the white zone.

P.A. SYSTEM (female v.o.)

No. The white zone is for loading and

unloading, and there is no stopping in the

red zone.

P.A. SYSTEM (male v.o.)

The red zone has always been for loading

and unloading, and there is never stopping

in a white zone.

P.A. SYSTEM (female v.o.)

Don't tell me which zone is for stopping

and which zone is for loading.

P.A. SYSTEM (male v.o.)

Listen, Betty. Don't start up with your

white zone shit again!

Elaine enters terminal building.

INT. TERMINAL BUILDING - NIGHT

Elaine is approached by a religious ZEALOT #1.

ZEALOT #1

Hello, we'd like you to have this flower

from the Religious Consciousness Church.

ELAINE:

No, but thank you very much.

Arrival-Departure TV monitors. Elaine approaches.

ELAINE'S POV - TV MONITORS

Reads:
Flight 209 to Chicago - Depart Gate 89 - 7:25 p.m.

Arrival monitor is goldfish swimming.

BACK TO ELAINE:

She checks her watch and walks past Security Check area.

CAMERA STAYS with a middle-aged couple, SHIRLEY and JACK,

waiting to pass through Security Check. Behind them is sign

reading:
WARNING, HIJACKING IS A FEDERAL OFFENSE, etc.

SHIRLEY:

Jack, isn't that Fred Bliffert over there

in the blue turtleneck? Maybe he's on our

flight to Chicago.

JACK:

Yeah, I think he is.

(waves)

Hey, Fred!

FRED recognizes Jack.

FRED:

(yelling)

Hi, Jack!!!

A swarm of police and airport security men descend on Fred

and take him away.

EXT. AIRPORT - PASSENGER LOADING ZONE - NIGHT

A limousine arrives. Two colorfully dressed BLACK DUDES

emerge. An extra pesters them. Two HARE KRISHNA'S arrive on

foot and walk toward terminal.

P.A. SYSTEM (female v.o.)

There's just no stopping in the white

zone.

P.A. SYSTEM (male v.o.)

Christ, you're as bad as your mother!

P.A. SYSTEM (female v.o.)

Oh, really, Vernon! Why pretend? We both

know perfectly well what it is you're

talking about. You want me to have an

abortion.

P.A. SYSTEM (male v.o.)

It's really the only sensible thing to do.

If it's done properly, therapeutically,

there's no danger involved.

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Jim Abrahams

ames S. "Jim" Abrahams (born May 10, 1944) is an American movie director and writer. more…

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"Airplane!" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2017. Web. 17 Dec. 2017. <http://www.scripts.com/script/airplane!_89>.

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