After the Reality Page #3

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You don't remember that?

Maybe. Didn't he, like, ruin a

few gifts in the process?

Yeah. God, he didn't really

know what he was doing.

Hey, come on.

It's in times like these,

we just gotta remember the best selling two

seat convertible in sports car history.

- The Miata!

- Mazda Miata!

I should never have cosigned that loan.

- You shouldn't of.

But how long was it until you, uh,

you, you found out I was lying?

Oh, uh, which lie was that? That

you weren't going to college,

or that you were using your tuition

money to fund your half of the Miata?

Why I see that as one lie. It's

like a combo lie.

Oh yeah, the old combo. Umm,

I guess like six months.

Mmmm. What a great six months

that was.

Dad was so proud of

his college kid.

Yeah, cuz you were finally, kind

of, a normal member of society.

Yeah.

Well, alright I gotta go to bed.

Here, have the rest of this.

Scottie, wait! I haven't seen

you since the funeral.

What happened?

Did you get the girl?

I, um, can't really watch you

on that I mean it's so weird.

I signed a contract.

Can't talk about it.

What?

Since when do you give a sh*t

about a contract?

- Let's just talk about it in the morning.

- Oh my!

I can't believe you're

not gonna tell me.

I'm hoping to get out of here a

little earlier.

Don't we have that meeting

with the lawyer on Monday?

Yeah.

Scottie, what is up with that

hand?

Argh, th-the u-haul umm tailgate

just kind of mangled it.

Well, did you get it looked at?

I'll put some ice on it.

Goodnight.

Um, okay.

I will. Yep.

Umm, thanks doctor.

Kate!

Oh! Hey!

What are you doing?

Um, smoking.

Oh. Do you have to smoke?

I mean I can make you tea if

you want to relax.

You were gone a long time. I thought

you were just going out for boxes.

I wasn't gone that long.

Boxes.

- You forgot the boxes?

- Ehh.

Stop looking for tea. I don't

want any tea.

Do we have any Gatorade?

Since when do I have Gatorade?

Okay, would you please not

smoke? Pretty please?

Now look, I have something to

tell you. I have...

Uh, it's my team.

I asked them to wait quietly.

Sorry coach! Ball got away

from us.

Anyway, I've hired them to help

us out.

Right.

As you can see,

I am in superior shape.

I jog every now and then. I do like

100 push-ups a day. I cross fit.

I'm looking at guys with like

11, 12 percent body fat.

That's like a woman's body fat!

Let'er hang, and

soak up the sun!

I mean these guys are

great in the pool, man.

No, which is good, cuz things

are about to get heavy.

Like a rock.

We all get called in

from the pool,

and we never had our pool

time interrupted before.

We're all gathered

in the living room,

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