Adventureland Page #6

Anybody care to join me?

Okay.

Come on.

Is anybody else coming in here,

or is it just us?

Yeah, okay.

-See, it's not so bad. It's okay.

-No, it's okay.

-Do you have any more of that pot?

-Yeah, at home. Why?

-We should make pot cookies.

-Okay.

That would be so fun.

Have you done that?

-I have not. I've had cookies.

-All right.

My connections have all dried up.

That's why I'm asking.

Your connections have dried up?

What, you think, I have ties

to the underworld or something?

I have 5 joints.

You think I can, like,

put a hit out on somebody?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

Oh, my God!

I got you. I got the door.

It's only 3 feet, so I can handle it.

Okay.

-I'm gonna get a drink.

-Okay.

You want one?

-Coming?

-Yeah.

Yeah, I'll meet you inside.

-Okay.

-I'll meet you inside.

-Okay.

-Okay.

Sh*t.

Boner! You got a boner!

Brennan's got a boner!

Yeah!

Thanks.

I like your records.

Eno, Replacements, Big Star.

Hey, give me your underwear.

I'll throw them in the dryer for you.

-I promise you'll get them back.

-Yeah.

Thank you.

-Who's that?

-It's my stepmom.

I don't think there's any pictures

of my mom in here.

-She died 2 years ago.

-Really? I'm sorry.

My dad remarried last year.

That's Francy.

You see that unholy abomination

on her head?

-Yeah.

-It's a wig.

Is it?

She had, like, a nervous breakdown

when her first husband divorced her.

Lost all her hair.

I would feel bad if she wasn't

such a status-obsessed witch.

-I'm buzzed. You?

-Yeah, kind of.

-What was that?

-What was what?

I'm gonna go...

You want to go see what they're doing?

Yes.

I think I drank, like,

a whole bottle of vodka.

You were drinking vermouth

the whole night, it's disgusting.

Yeah, it's a type of vodka.

You okay? Frigo? What are you doing?

Okay, good night!

Hello?

Hey. No, actually,

the party broke up pretty early.

I'm in here.

Crack of dawn

Cindy's movin' on

She's talking Cindy to everyone

-So we have, like, 5 minutes?

-No.

Though I've heard it before

There's not much point

in wasting time, though.

But I just can't get away

Cindy kills me every day

Lisa P. is back!

-Lisa P. is back!

-Lisa P.? Did you hear that?

Lisa P. is back! Lisa P. is back!

-Brennan, Brennan, Lisa P. is back!

-Yeah? Who's Lisa P.?

Holy mother of crap!

"Who's Lisa P.?"

That's Lisa P.

Come on, come on

Have you ever heard

those opening lines

You should leave this small town

way behind

I'll be your partner

Show you the steps

Oh, my God,

look at the shape of her ass.

It's a platonic ideal.

That ass is a higher truth.

Look, look at that little portal of light,

just below her crotch,

right where the thigh

meets the pudendum.

The pudendum? Are you pre-med?

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