Adult World Page #3

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I swear.

- See you, Mary Anne.

- Bye, Roy.

Later.

- Policemen shop here?

- Sure, same as everybody else.

Well, yeah, but they're policemen.

So?

We're not doing anything illegal.

Yeah, but he's a person of authority

participating in the subjugation of women.

His wife was in a skydiving accident.

She plummeted 10,000 feet,

and her chute didn't open.

Been in a coma for two years.

He rents porn to stay faithful

to her until Jesus takes her.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

Okay.

A lot of people like the old-school

feel of browsing the real shelves.

Plus, we have a ton of vintage

stuff you can't find online.

And the sex toys... sometimes

people don't want to wait.

Or have their mom open a fedex

box with their fleshlight in it.

Who's on bathroom duty?

- Not I!

- Not I.

- I am.

- All right.

- All right.

- The brush is under the sink.

My God, there was...

Anybody ever tell you it's

rude to stare?

I'm sorry.

I wasn't... I wasn't staring.

- I was, but I didn't mean to.

- So inappropriate.

Hey! Be cool.

Amy's all right.

Amy, Rubia.

Rubia, Amy.

- Hi.

- So, your shift's over.

Do either of you guys know

which bus goes to dewittshire?

Oh, perfect.

Of course that's where you're from.

- Why are you taking the bus?

- My car was stolen.

Sh*t. Are you okay?

- Pretty sure I'm traumatized.

- Yeah, I'm sorry.

I think the 5:
15 goes that route.

The 5:
15 what?

It's the bus route.

No...

Rubia, you go that way, right?

rShe can show you.

That'd be great.

Really?

I'm gonna rip your nuts off.

You know that?

Give me my battery, please.

- What is this?

- It's a battery.

- From where?

- A Cadillac.

You, like, paying your way

through beauty school?

What?

Why you work at a porn store

downtown?

Um, I'm a poet.

Get out? Seriously?

I'm probably gonna get

published pretty soon.

Writing sh*t about new snow...

for the rich is not art.

It's like my favorite haiku.

That's cool.

- I get my battery, please?

- Yeah.

Gracias.

This is where you live?

Yeah, it's that glam building

down the alley, number 666...

El diablo!

Back door, Becky!

Good night!

Hey, you forgot something!

Powder.

Good night.

Riding the bus is like being

in mogadishu.

Um, I've been on the phone all day,

all day, and apparently someone

canceled the theft policy on your car.

- Well, that is bizarre.

- I said, "that's a mistake,"

and then they sent me the signed

letter of cancellation,

and it's letter of cancellation,

and it's a poem.

That is a series of couplets.

Is that the mail?

The New Yorker!

Please, please.

Rejected.

Amy, do you know

how difficult this year has been?

why do we keep getting

student-loan bills that are past due?

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