Addicted to Love Page #7

In my mind, he was like a god.

Now what do you think?

Well, it's not like he's God God anymore.

He's more like a volcano god or a sea god.

One of those sub-gods.

Maggie, I think he likes me.

One thing, though.

He said something|about having sex with my skull.

He says that to everybody.

Don't worry about it.

Sorry.

I don't like the sound of it.

I don't like the image that it conjures.

I can't honestly say I blame you, Sam.

So I let go with my hands...

...and I fell off the top|of the junglegym face-first...

...and I broke this tooth in half.

I'm laying on my back,|blood all over my face...

...the kids are yelling,|the teachers are freaking out...

...and I look up, and there she is.

She's just looking down at me...

...With this worried little smile on her face.

I swear to God, when I saw her,|the pain just went away.

Once I took pictures|of a bunch of ducklings...

...Who imprinted on a gardener.

They thought he was Mama...

...and they used to chase him around|all day...

...While he drove around|on his lawn mower.

That's exactly what it feels like.

It's like she's branded on my brain.

What happened to this guy...

...is that one day he forgot|the ducks were there.

He put the mower in reverse,|chewed them to pieces.

Don't you know any happy stories?

There he is.

That's him!

Let's get him!

Our work is done.

Midgets coming out of the blue.

I had to protect myself with one of them.

Midgets coming out of the blue?

Yeah.|Little children shooting perfume at me.

From their guns.

Perfume from their guns?

Yeah. Water guns?

Squirt guns?

Yeah, I think. Squirt guns.

Spooky, huh?

Wait, the loaf, I think it's burning.

Look at him trying|to weasel his way out of it.

He didn't do anything, Sam.

Anton,|don't you think it's a little peculiar...

...that little children would be shooting|perfume at you?

I thought it was something|American kids do.

A fad, I don't know.|We should have some salad.

It's very expensive perfume, Anton.

I used to wear that perfume.

Good call, Sam!

Last week you had lipstick on your collar.

From the monkey.

And now perfume...

...from squirt guns|from rich New York kids.

What are the odds...

...of something like that|happening to one person?

I don't know. Ask a mathematician.

Ask your old boyfriend,|the Milky way man.

That's you, Sam.

What are you getting at?

You're driving me crazy.

Anton,|I want you to promise me something.

Just promise that if you were|ever doing anything...

...that you would tell me.

Why are you even thinking of such a thing?

Maybe we could work it out.

I just couldn't take it|if you were lying to me.

Sweetie,|Why would I have sex with a hamburger...

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