Accident Man Page #3

to wanna get stuck into Jane?

It's not worth it, bro.

Plus, you'd never make it out alive.

Don't know.

I think it might be worth the crack.

Hey, Jane. How much you charging these days?

Offering any friends-and-family discount?

Are you insinuating

that I'm some kind of a skanky hooker?

Or worse, that we're friends?

All right. Back down, lads.

We all know that Jane is a lady.

[JANE BELCHES]

Well, as stimulating as this is, boys,

I'm out of here.

Got a 10:
00 bang-and-shank.

Y'all misbehave.

See you later, Jane.

B*tches, man.

So, Mike, are you still dating

that model chick?

On and off, mate. You know me.

She's all right, though. Twenty-six, body

of an 18-year-old, brain of a 12-year-old.

- Right up my street.

- RAY:
Yeah, well...

...a little different than the last one.

Didn't she turn out to be a dyke?

"Dyke" is a bit harsh, Mac.

We live in a tolerant society.

All right, then.

A lesbian, then.

- I'd f*** it.

- Well, you'd f*** anything.

MAC:
The other one she left you for, mate.

Was she the bloke in the relationship,

or was it Beth?

- One of them always is.

- RAY:
It was the other one.

What was her name again?

Bob? Something like that?

- Charlie.

- RAY:
Charlie. There you go.

- Even sounds like a bloke.

- MICK:
Damn.

You must have really pissed her off.

She switched teams.

Yeah. Weren't you giving her

what she wanted, mate?

Yeah, all right, lads. Give it a rest.

Well, like I've always said:

"Women make you soft."

Always remember the three golden rules:

Never get angry.

Never get involved.

And most importantly...

ALL [IN UNISON]:
Never get caught.

- Well, I'll drink to that.

- Ah.

Cheers, Ray.

Mikey, my boy.

MIKE:
And this is Milton.

The most important cog in the machine.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Milton's a born-and-bred New Yorker.

But after seeing one too many

Hugh Grant films, moved to London.

And he's trying his best to be

a foppish member of the Mayfair gentry.

He's the firm's front man.

He meets the clients and assigns one of us...

...depending on the style of kill required.

All the information we need

is delivered to us in a KBD.

Kill Brief Dossier.

The kill briefs are delivered to us

on an unfixed negative.

Very Mission:
Impossible, I know.

But before Milton came along, we had

a manila envelope full of paperwork.

Too easy to leave lying around for those

less-precise members of the crew.

Not naming any names.

What?

We never know the client.

They don't know who we are.

Keeps everybody sleeping better at night.

And for all that,

cheeky bastard takes 15 percent.

Mind you, Ray takes 25.

And nobody says sh*t about that.

Everybody secretly wishes

they could kill Milton.

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