Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Synopsis: At the age of 9, Abraham Lincoln witnesses his mother being killed by a vampire, Jack Barts. Some 10 years later, he unsuccessfully tries to eliminate Barts but in the process makes the acquaintance of Henry Sturgess who teaches him how to fight and what is required to kill a vampire. The quid pro quo is that Abe will kill only those vampires that Henry directs him to. Abe relocates to Springfield where he gets a job as a store clerk while he studies the law and kills vampires by night. He also meets and eventually marries the pretty Mary Todd. Many years later as President of the United States, he comes to realize that vampires are fighting with the Confederate forces. As a result he mounts his own campaign to defeat them.
Director(s): Timur Bekmambetov
Production: 20th Century Fox
  1 nomination.
Rotten Tomatoes:
105 min

History prefers legends to men.

It prefers nobility to brutality.

Soaring speeches to quiet deeds.

History remembers the battle

and forgets the blood.

Whatever history remembers of me,

if it remembers anything at all,

it shall only be

a fraction of the truth.

For whatever else I am,

a husband, a lawyer,

a president,

I shall always think

of myself as a man

who struggled against darkness.

I leave in your trusted

hands, my dear friend Henry,

this record that begins

when I was just a boy.

Get on down there. Hurry it up.

Please, sir, no.

There's been some kind of mistake.

I ain't no slave.

Let them go. Aaron.

Go back inside.

Let them go.


Quiet. He's my friend.

Look away, Abraham.

It's not our place.

Look away.


Thomas, help them.

Leave him alone.

Are you all right?

Did you strike my friend here?

He was beating my son.

Did you strike him, Lincoln?

They're not slaves, and you know it.

I suggest you get back to your work

before you find yourself

led away in chains.

Until every man is free,

we are all slaves.

Very well, then.

Since you're all so

concerned with freedom,

you may consider yourself free

from the burden of my employ.

And the debt you have been working off,

I'd like it paid in full with interest.

Now, please.

If you get one more penny

from me, Mr. Barts,

it will come with a fist

wrapped around it.

All right, Mr. Lincoln.

There are other ways to collect a debt.


What's happening to her, Father?

Please help her.

Please, I beg of you.

You have got to do something, Father.

Easy, child.

Look away, Abraham.

I have never seen anything like this.


You promise me.

Let's step outside.

I am sorry,

I don't know what ails her.


Come and lie next to me.

I have been writing, Mama.

"Days are swift as an Indian arrow,"

"flying like a shooting star."

"The present day is here,"

"and then slides away in haste,"

"that we can never say is ours,"

"but only say"

"is passed."



Mama once told me that

I hadn't cried when I was born.

That I'd simply opened my eyes,

looked at her smiling

face, and smiled back.

My light was gone.

I don't know how he did it...


you promise me...

You promise me you won't go

and do anything foolish.

Nine years later,

my father joined her in death.

No longer bound by my promise,

I tried to fortify the nerve

to pursue my vengeance.

Haven't you had enough?

A boy only gets this drunk

when he wants to kiss a girl

or kill a man.

Adam, Adam, let me explain.

Last one, Barts.

I am not coming up here to clean

up your messes any more.

- Yes, sir.

- I promise.

Every so often, I think about what

it would be like to be in the South.

So, where's Henry?

Yes, sir. We have been

looking all over, sir.

Searching high and low.

Low is more likely.

Just find him, Barts.

Oh, and send a fresh crop south.

We have a lot of mouths to feed.

Yes, sir.

"Yes, sir, no, sir.

High, sir, low, sir."

For my mother.

That was unlucky.

Might have put me out of my misery.

Where the hell are you running to?

Don't much like chasing chickens.

Little boy, all grown up.

Come to avenge his dear momma.

There are two kinds

of men, Mr. Lincoln.

Those that have the guts

to pull the trigger....

....and those who do not.

Powder, patch, ball.

Don't mess it up.

You weren't asleep that night.

Were you?

Oh. You dropped the ball,

Mr. Lincoln.

Your mama's blood was sickening sweet.

I hope yours tastes better.

Might I suggest that we begin by...

closing the door?

Yeah, I am sorry.

I didn't see anything.

Should we dive right in?

Or are you finding Gabrielle's

egress too distracting?

I am sorry, sir, but who are you?

Who I am is Henry Sturges.

And where you are is my home.

And what happened...

I saved your life

during your rather pathetic

attempt at taking another's.

What were you doing there, and

how did you know

I would try to kill Barts?


I watched this boy carry out his

first long-awaited mission.

Drunk, might I add.

And I think, "You have wasted your

time watching this one, Henry."

"He's not a promising recruit."

"He is just a selfish boy with

his heart set on vengeance."

And I realized,

"This boy is a goddamned idiot."

"I doubt he even knew

his target was a vampire."

A vampire?

Yes. Immortal, blood-sucking demons.

Fortunately for you, Mr. Lincoln,

hunting them is something of a hobby.

But vampires are just myths.

Myths don't beat you senseless

after you have put

a bullet in their brain.

Thank you.

No, Mr. Lincoln, vampires are real.

They exist in every city

and every state....

in the Union.

If what you say is true,

you could help me kill him.

I could pay you to kill him.

My services are not for sale.

And the word you are

looking for is "destroy."

It is quite a feat to kill

that which is already dead.

But you don't understand.

My mother was murdered.

And if I teach you how

to murder her murderer,

so what?

How will that honor her memory?

How will that benefit the next

boy whose mother is taken?

If vengeance is all you seek,

seek it elsewhere.

Teach me to fight as you do.

Please, I will do anything you say.

You promise to cast aside

all notions of vengeance

and commit to the life of a hunter?

You will have no friends,

no family.

I will give you names....

I told him what he wanted to hear,

but all I cared about was killing

the monster that took my mother.

I am in.

Scottish Highland pistol.

And if one barrel isn't enough,

seven should do you.

The blunderbuss.

And if you lose your ball,

you can always stuff your pocket

watch down the end of it.

So, Abe,

which one takes your fancy?

Actually, I haven't had the best

of luck with shooting irons.


I was a rail splitter.

I would like you to chop this

tree down with a single swing.

That tree?

It's got to be more than a foot across.

That's impossible.

But it isn't a tree.

It's what you hate most in the world.

So, tell me, Mr. Lincoln,

what do you hate?

I hate Jack Barts.

Then strike him down.

Well, clearly you don't

hate him that much.

Tell me what you hate.

I hate that my mother was taken away.


I hate that we were afraid.


That my mother and father,

everyone that we knew,

lived in fear.


I hate that I was too small.

- Too weak.

- Yes.

And that you failed... Yes.

...to protect her. Yes.

And that you let her die.

Power, Lincoln,

real power,

comes not from hate, but from truth.

Before you protect others from darkness,

you must first be able

to protect yourself.

Your enemies have the power to

render themselves invisible.

You must have the ability

to fight blind.

To see, without seeing.


In the weeks that followed,

Henry endeavored to impart a

lifetime of vampire-hunting secrets.

Their ability to adapt to sunlight.

Their power to render

themselves invisible.

But most of all, he taught

me how to destroy them.

When Judas betrayed Jesus,

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Seth Grahame-Smith

Seth Grahame-Smith (born Seth Jared Greenberg; January 4, 1976) is an American novelist, film director, film producer, and screenwriter. He is best known as the author of The New York Times best-selling novels Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter, both of which have been adapted as feature films. Grahame-Smith is also the co-creator, head writer and executive producer of The Hard Times of RJ Berger, a scripted television comedy appearing on MTV. In collaboration with David Katzenberg, his partner in Katzsmith Productions, Grahame-Smith is currently developing a number of projects for television and film. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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