A Perfect Getaway Page #7

and hide inside

their own a**holes.

And unofficially?

I'm a goddamn American Jedi.

Possible title

number one, by the way.

Hey. See this?

Took a frag from a Bouncing

Betty. It's an antipersonnel mine.

Caved in the back

of my f***ing head.

Medevaced out to Germany.

Got my skull rebuilt

with space-age titanium.

Can't go through a metal

detector without ringing cherries,

but that's cool.

Lets me travel with Gilligan

just about wherever I want.

Gilligan?

My little buddy.

That's some toothpick.

Here's the kicker, though. When I

took that shrapnel, I never felt it.

I mean, I felt the impact and

I felt my backside go all wet,

but no real pain.

Now, maybe I don't

recall events in full.

They did scoop out a little gray

Spam back there, but get this.

My wolf pack? They will

swear that I was ambulatory

for more than 17 minutes

before they forced me

to lie down. Tackled me.

Even then I was looking to

monkey-f*** a Marlboro Light.

There's no nerve endings

in the brain, Cliff.

Remember that when

you write the scene.

Yeah. There's some

really good details there.

Yeah, he's really

hard to kill.

Hey. Y'all make it

to the beach?

Yeah, it's great.

Just keep going.

Hey. You see any rangers up ahead?

None that I saw.

It's only, like, three

miles to the beach, we hope?

Yeah, but lots of

twists and turns ahead.

Hey, the further we go, the

fewer people on the trail.

And your point is?

Back there.

Pretend you gotta pee.

Pretend?

The cops in Honolulu released

a photo of the killers.

Apparently, they didn't know

they were on camera.

Come on.

Sh*t.

What?

It could be anybody.

Are you sure about that?

They don't look

familiar to you?

Y'all good or what?

Having a bathroom break!

You are freaking me out!

It could be anybody.

I mean, what do we really

know about these people

aside from him

and his stories?

Which, I might add,

are starting to sound

more and more

bullshitty to me.

Next thing we're

going to find out

he's got the heart of

a baboon or something.

I think he's just

trying to impress.

I mean, you know, he thinks

you're going to write a movie

about his life

or something.

What do we know?

Well, she's from Savannah. Her

father is a controlling military sh*t.

She rebelled. She met

Nick in South Carolina,

but he reminded her

too much of Daddy.

He chased her until finally

giving up and moving on,

but that's when she got

interested in him, of course.

It's their first

time in Hawaii.

They thought Waikiki

was a little Las Vegas,

but they love

it here on Kauai.

Girls talk.

So, they were

on Oahu, too.

I guess they were.

Interesting guy, Cliff.

Yeah.

First man ever who wants to

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