A Haunted House 2

---

1

Help me get her in the car, Ray!

Okay, but this b*tch

heavy as hell, Cuz!

Nigga, get yo' hands off her ass!

Let me finger gangbang

her at least, homie!

- Just help me get it off of her!

- Okay, one finger then!

A'right, but we ain't

goin' inside, homie.

We gonna go around

the emergency loop...

roll her ass out like

we do all the homies...

that get shot in the hood, homie.

Why you snuff her

fine ass anyway, homie?

I wanted to bone, Cuz.

- She was possessed, Ray!

- Possessed?

Possessed like head spinnin'

around vomitin' everywhere?

Or like possessed like Kanye

when you take a picture of him?

Just drive like you

got warrants, please!

Nigga, I do got warrants! Look!

These right here! Jaywalkin'!

For eating grapes in the grocery

store without payin' for 'em!

Shavin' my dog's balls in public.

Drivin' with my hands

off the wheel, Cuz.

I be ghost-drivin' my whip, Cuz.

I like doin' that sh*t, homie.

An altercation with my Moms,

homie, but she provoked me, Cuz!

- Ray-Ray, I think she's waking.

- All right, here! Take this...

and pistol-whip her

with the butt of the gun.

I'm not pistol-whippin'

my girlfriend!

A'right, nigga, well, you drive

and I'll pistol-whip that b*tch!

- Kisha, resist!

- But you didn't!

I've seen you for the

b*tch that you are, Malcolm.

- What's she talkin' 'bout, homie?

- Booty pirates!

- Nuttin', she's possessed, man.

- S'right, you f***er!

He's a ghost buster!

That sound real suspect

back there, homie.

Was you in juvie, Cuz?

If you don't cry you ain't

no b*tch in there, homie.

I didn't cry. Doodles on

they. Joke's on them, Cuz.

By the power vested to me,

that somebody gave me...

while I was locked up...

- Who are you?

- It's Father Williams, homie.

She do a mean impression

of that nigga, Cuz.

I do a mean impression

of The Butler. Check it:

"I'm here for the boss.

I'm here to serve the boss."

- Who are you?

- I'm Forest Whitaker, homie.

From the movie that's

like "The Help" but...

He didn't doo-doo

in the pie, homie.

Ray, I'm not talkin' to you!

I'm talkin' to Kisha. Ray!

Are you gonna let that

b*tch choke you out, Cuz?

You a b*tch, homie...

- Get the f*** off me!

- Kisha! Kisha!

Sh*t, she breathed

in my face, homie.

I'll get the bird

u, it's contagious...

She blacked out, Ray.

Hurry, we don't have much

time! Get us to the hospital.

Hurry!

Ray? Ray?

Oh, sh*t!

Oh, my God!

Kisha?

Kisha!

Ray? Ray!

It's a good thing I drank

that Hennessy earlier.

I can't feel sh*t, homie!

- I think Kisha's dead.

- Good!

Let's get the tuck

outta here, homie!

Listen. We were never here.

- I'm with you, Cuz.

- All right. Deuces!

We ghost hunters!

I don't know about

this place, baby.

You've said that about

every house we looked at.

There's just something creepy

about this place, like...

give me the heebie-jeebies...

like somethin' bad

happened in here.

Well, I love it. And I love you.

There you go, bribin'

me with vagina.

- Whatever works.

- Know when I'm weak.

Disgusting.

Oh, it's disgusting

when we do it...

but when you kissing

the whole entire...

sophomore class it's cool, huh?

Gimme that damn

camera, you little gnat!

- Finger. Real creative.

- Cut her some slack.

She's just goin' through a phase.

Yeah, a phase. It's called "whore."

- Look at that. Last a lifetime.

- Malcolm, stop!

No, see, that's a phase.

Looks like he met an

imaginary friend. It's normal.

What you doin' there, buddy?

Wanna help me load some boxes?

- Cool!

- A'right. My man!

- Sorry, Malcolm. I can't.

- Why not?

Tony says, "Aw, hell

Rate this script:(2.00 / 3 votes)