A Haunted House

Synopsis: In October 2012 a video footage is found at the home of Malcolm Johnson and the recordings are still unexplained. Past this prologue a story in flashback form unfolds. During the summer of 2012, Malcolm and Kisha move in together and start a happy life. One night Kisha notices a few unexplained phenomena that convince her their house is haunted by ghosts. To allay her fears Malcom hires a camera crew to film inside the house day and night. A few nights later Malcom and Keisha have sex on camera, despite Keisha's protests at being filmed. Upon reviewing the sex tape the next day, Malcom and Keisha notice a few paranormal phenomena caught on tape. Malcom wants to sell the house but the housing market is slow. Therefore, Malcom decides to hire a psychic to come to the house and investigate. After Kisha confesses to making a deal with the devil for a pair of shoes things start to make sense but it doesn't solve the problems caused by the paranormal phenomena.
Genre: Comedy, Fantasy
Director(s): Michael Tiddes
Production: Open Road Films
  1 win & 1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
5.1
Metacritic:
20
Rotten Tomatoes:
10%
R
Year:
2013
86 min
$32,536,865
Website
525 Views

Why isn't this

stupid thing workin'?

See, that's that bullshit.

I'm taking this shit

right back to Best Buy.

Or not.

Stupid lens cap.

Wow!

Brand-new camera.

I'm filming

everything with this.

Christmas, New Year's,

vagina.

All right.

Today is the big day.

My girlfriend

Kisha's moving in.

Now, all my boys

keep telling me,

"Don't do it, don't do it,

"because everything's

gonna change.

"She's gonna take

over your house.

"She's never

gonna cook again.

"And worst of all,

"you're putting

your dick in jail."

I think they're trippin'.

Once she moves in,

everything's gonna

be perfect.

Place looks nice.

Baby boy cleaned up

for you, huh?

Oh, shit!

Rosa!

Hey, you gotta

announce yourself.

You can't just

creep up on me.

Aw, come on.

This is my

housekeeper, Rosa.

Say hi. Say hi.

Say hi!

Hi! Hola.

Say "Hola." Hola.

Bye-bye!

Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay!

Do this.

Oh!

I'm a big bambino?

You know I love you.

Hey, Shiloh!

Say hi to Mommy.

I'm gonna hump you

on your leg, Kisha.

That's right.

And I'm gonna lick you

all over your face

with my dog-ball mouth.

Oh, shit.

Here she comes.

Hi, baby!

Hey, baby! Hi!

No, no, Shiloh!

Wait! No, no, no, no!

Shiloh! What did you do?

I didn't see him!

What did you do?

I'm so sorry.

Oh, my God!

Shiloh, come on, breathe.

Maybe he's

just playing dead.

He doesn't know

how to play dead.

He knows how to shake hands.

He knows how to fetch.

He knows how to roll over.

He don't know

how to play dead.

Come on, Shiloh, breathe.

One, two, three.

Breathe.

Aww!

Give me

the jumper cables.

The jumper cables?

Give me

the goddamn jumper cables!

Don't you die on me!

Start the car!

Clear! Go!

Oh, shit!

Meet me at the hospital!

The hospital's that way!

Don't go towards

the light, Shiloh!

You're in

a better place now, buddy.

I'm so, so sorry.

It's okay, baby.

It's...

It's not your fault.

Yes, it is.

You know, look...

Look on the bright side.

I'm allergic to dogs.

I know, but that's what

was so great about Shiloh.

He was hypoallergenic.

Shiloh!

Oh, my God!

Look at all this shit.

Okay, Malcolm,

this is the last box.

What's with the camera?

I'm documenting

our lives together.

Say hi.

Hi! Okay. Mmm.

That ass

lookin' nice, baby.

Hey, hey.

Pan up, pan up.

I see that.

Baby, you are officially

a hoarder.

I swear to God, I'm gonna

open one of these boxes

and find, like, a dead cat

and an old

baloney sandwich in it.

Ha, ha, ha.

Very funny.

Oh, my God.

Do you need these?

Yes! These are...

For what?

These are good

wedding shoes!

One to 10, what are you

feeling right now about that?

Um, 8.7.

What do you

feel about that?

Nine. Nine.

No, wait! Come on. Come on.

What's this? Hold on.

This is a box that my aunt

brought from Kenya.

This is a nine, too.

Oh, my God!

Hi, my name is Kisha Davis,

and I'm a hoarder.

There's shame.

Oh, wow.

Are these

your daddy's ashes?

Yes, Malcolm.

They go where I go.

So, we're gonna

have his ghost

watching over us?

Just put him in

the other room.

He likes to watch TV.

He's dead.

What's he gonna watch?

American Horror Story?

Okay, babe,

these video games,

they have to go.

Wait. Leave my

video games alone.

They're tacky.

- I'm not gonna break it.

- Give me my camera!

"Negra?"Did she

just call me a n*gger?

What? What?

I will lambada your ass!

English! English!

Speak English!

Baby. Baby. Baby!

You know she

don't like me, right?

Oh, I know

what's going on here.

You got some

Schwarzenegger stuff

going on in here, right?

Really?

Yeah, okay, yeah.

Yeah, we're gonna

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Marlon Wayans

Marlon Lamont Wayans (July 23, 1972) is an American actor, comedian, screenwriter, and film producer, beginning with his role as a pedestrian in I'm Gonna Git You Sucka in 1988. He frequently collaborates with his brother Shawn Wayans, as he was on The WB sitcom The Wayans Bros. and in the comedic films Scary Movie, Scary Movie 2, White Chicks, Little Man, and Dance Flick. However, Wayans had a dramatic role in Darren Aronofsky's critically acclaimed Requiem for a Dream, which saw his departure from the usual comedies. In 2009, he appeared in G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. In 2013, he had a leading role in A Haunted House and co-starred in The Heat. A Haunted House 2 was released on April 18, 2014. He also appeared in the Netflix film Naked. Marlon has partnered with former Funny or Die co-founder Randy Adams to create What the Funny, an online destination for urban comedy. Marlon created the comedy competition television show, Funniest Wins, which aired on TBS in June - August 2014. As of 2014, Marlon and his brothers have been traveling the U.S. with "The Wayans Brothers Tour". In 2016, Wayans wrote, produced and starred in Fifty Shades of Black. The film is a parody of the 2015 erotic romantic drama film Fifty Shades of Grey. In 2017, NBC gave him his own sitcom, Marlon, for a 10-episode run. In September 2017, Marlon got renewed for a second season by NBC, set to premiere in 2018. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"A Haunted House" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 18 Oct. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/a_haunted_house_1925>.

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